The Silver Linings Anthology
by Sgt.Pepperony
Summary: A series of short stories that are humorous or sad but always optimistic. Little moments between the couples and their families. T for mature themes. Connected to Surprise and Labour of Love.
1. The One With The Panic

**Title: **The Silver Linings Anthology **  
Author:** Sgt. Pepperony  
**Fandom: **Avengers (MCU)  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairings:** Steve/Wanda; Tony /Pepper; Thor/Jane  
**OCs: **Evelyn, James, Rosie, Jack, Danny, Marie and Alex  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the MCU characters. Title slight based on Silver Linings Playbook.

**Okay, I did promise that I would try to write some sort of sequel to Labour of Love but it is mainly going to be a one-shot story with vignettes, drabbles, sketches etc. All OCs listed above are the kids of the team. Whose parent is whose will be explained (they are revealed in the last chapter of Labour of Love anyway but I may as well explain for new readers). I did not list Luna because I do not actually own her but she is in this anthology. I will specify the ages of the kids instead of the year it takes place because maths is complicated in my head. **

**So first chapter: Boy do I like to be dramatic sometimes.**

**OC Introduction: Evelyn**

Chapter One

It was possibly the call Wanda Maximoff-Rogers dreaded.

She was not sure whether it was late evening or early morning; the only thing she knew was that Steve had been hit by a bullet and she needed to get to the S.H.I.E.L.D medical base quickly. Pepper had called for a plane immediately while Wanda grabbed her eighteen-month old daughter Evelyn from her cot. When they got to the medical base, she and Pepper were greeted by an equally stressed Tony, and Bruce and Natasha trying to maintain some composure.

"What happened?" Wanda asked trying not to wake Evelyn up.

"A stray bullet hit him in the leg," Bruce explained. "He got taken in to surgery a while ago."

"In the leg?" asked Wanda. "Where?"

"It was in the thigh but we don't know if it hit his femoral artery. If it has then he could bleed out." Wanda placed one of her hands in Evelyn's auburn curls to try to stop it from shaking so much. "Do you need to sit down? You look dizzy."

"No I…" Wanda was feeling a little light headed so she sat down still holding onto her daughter. The logical part of her brain knew about Steve's regenerating cells but the part of the brain that was his wife and mother of his child was making her panic so much.

"He is going to be okay," Natasha said getting down to her level.

"You promised that he would never leave me."

Natasha sighed and placed her hand on Wanda's shoulders, "Wanda, he is not going to leave you. You know this."

"She is right Wanda," Tony said letting go of Pepper. "He's been shot in the chest before so this is not going to be a problem."

"We did not have a child back then." No one was sure if Wanda would start crying and no one knew what to say in fear she would upset her more.

Suddenly an alarm blared, startling Evelyn awake. "Mama?"she asked, her blue eyes looking confused.

"It's okay domniţă*. Just go back to sleep." Wanda soothed Evelyn enough to help her go back to sleep before Pepper sat next to her.

Tony and I were thinking of checking into a hotel not far from here. We could take Evelyn."

"No I need her here with me." She wanted to have some living connection to Steve and it was reassuring to have her daughter safe in her arms.

"Evelyn cannot stay in a hospital all night with the noise," said Bruce. "It's not fair on her and you."

"We'll bring her back first thing," said Pepper. "Bruce and Natasha are going to stay so you won't be lonely."

"Okay," Wanda said giving Evelyn a kiss on her head.

"Do you have the car seat?" asked Tony.

"Tony it's about three minutes walk. We'll just carry her."

"I left the diaper bag on the plane. I'll just go and get it."

"I'll get it, you need to stay in case the doctor comes out," said Natasha.

"Thanks." Wanda placed another kiss on Evelyn's head and handed her over to Pepper. "I love you Evie."

"I promise to bring her back first thing," said Pepper. Soon, Natasha returned with the diaper bag and handed it to Tony. "We'll see you in the morning."

"Do you need anyone to call your brother?" asked Tony.

"I'll do it," said Bruce. "It might be easier if I do it."

"Just say I need him and he'll come running," Wanda said. "I'll just need to say goodbye to Evie one more time."

-o-

Within thirty minutes, Pietro was there and gave his sister a much-needed hug, "No one gave you a hug did they?"

"Bruce did. Pepper and Tony had left with Evelyn and Natasha… Well she does not give hugs that often."

"Has anyone come to tell you anything?"

"No. According to Bruce they had been in surgery nearly an hour before Pepper and I arrived."

"You brought Evelyn with you?"

"I could not leave her alone and Pepper did not want me to travel alone."

"Do you want to get something to drink in the cafeteria; you look like you could do with one?"

"No, I need to stay here in case someone comes to tell me any news."

"Okay, I'll get you something if you want anything."

"Can you just get me some water from the machine?"

"Yeah sure. Just sit down and I'll be back before you know it." Pietro rushed off and Wanda sat down noticing the small teddy that had fallen onto the floor. Bucky Bear. It must have fallen out of the diaper bag when Tony was looking through it. It was the teddy that Steve had bought Evelyn when she was born. Wanda tried to inhale the scent from the bear. It did have some remnants of the aftershave that Steve wore.

"Here," Pietro said handing a plastic cup to her.

"Thanks," she said taking the cup. "I just found this on the floor. It smells a little like Steve."

"Well he has to pull through. If he doesn't then in the next life I will kill him."

"I think you have hit him enough when you first met him and then … The kitchen incident."

"Hey, he said you stayed in the same bed. What was I supposed to think?"

"Steve was a bit naïve back then. To an extent he still is."

"I meant it when you said you were pregnant that I would put a shotgun to his head until he married you."

"He was going to marry me anyway, and to be honest it was Tony's fault."

"Yet you still thanked him when he came to see you in the hospital."

"I think he was that hungover he was not listening."

"Who wasn't listening?" asked Natasha sitting beside Wanda with a coffee cup.

"Tony after Evelyn was born."

"I think I was more concerned about him dropping her onto her head."

"Maybe they should not have wetted the baby's head that soon," said Pietro.

"I think it was more to do with the fact that they were traumatised," Wanda said using air quotes on the word 'traumatised'.

Natasha placed her hand on Wanda's arm. "Wanda, he is going to be fine."

"I know, but sometimes you have to wonder."

"Agent Romanoff," said one of the doctors approaching the three.

"Actually, you should be speaking with his wife about this," Natasha said pointing to Wanda.

"Mrs Rogers, we managed to remove the bullet. It did not hit his femoral artery and the surgeon is closing up now."

"So is he going to be okay?" asked Wanda.

"He might be in a lot of pain and we did give him a high dose of anaesthesia. It will be a few hours before he wakes up and even then, he will be delirious. However, I expect he should make a full recovery."

"Oh thank God," said Wanda.

"I'm afraid that it is going to be one visitor at a time and usually it is the next of kin. That means you Mrs Rogers."

"Maximoff-Rogers," Pietro said correcting him.

"My apologies, Mrs Maximoff-Rogers. If you could wait possibly thirty minutes then I will come and inform you of when you can see him."

"Thank you," Wanda said as the doctor left.

"What did the doctor say?" asked Bruce approaching with his coffee.

"He's fine," Wanda said with a sigh of relief. "They said I can see him in half an hour. They're just closing up."

"Do you want us to stay?" asked Pietro.

"Natasha, Bruce if you want to leave you can. You've had a long night. Much longer than mine."

"Are you sure?"

"As much as Natasha thinks sleep is for the weak, you both look as though you could do with some sleep."

"You could have told us before we got coffee," said Natasha.

"Sorry."

Bruce and Natasha left the twins, Wanda having asked Pietro to stay until the doctor came to get her to see Steve.

"Are you sure you do not want me to stay longer?" asked Pietro.

"You have your own wife and daughter Pietro. I'm not your main priority anymore."

"It does not mean I will not run if you ask for me."

"I know. However, I don't want you being on your own."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay. I love you Wanda."

"Love you too. Go on. I'll call you tomorrow if there is anything to report."

The pair hugged before Pietro rushed off. The nurse led Wanda to Steve's room where he was asleep and his chest rising up and down. Wanda sat down in the chair beside the bed and took Steve's hand. Aside from the bandage on his leg, he looked perfectly fine.

"What did you do you idiot? What did I say about putting yourself in danger now we have Evelyn?" she asked him, not expecting a response. "When you are home, you and I are going to have a serious talk about your obsession with needing to be the hero. You are going to drive me insane with worry every time you go on a mission." A small smile appeared on her face. "I still would not have you any other way though. I remember when Evelyn was born and I had walked into the nursery. You were holding Evelyn in your arms and spoke to her with such affection. Honestly, I thought I could never be the parent you are, but I think I am doing okay but that is because you make me the better parent."

Wanda felt her eyes closing and she had realised that it was around four in the morning. She put the teddy bear beside Steve. Before she could say anything else, Wanda lay her head down on the bed and fell asleep.

She was only woken up when she heard a tapping on the window. In her haze, she could make out Tony and then she realised where she was and that her back was sore from the position she had slept in.

"Ow," she moaned. She turned her head to see Tony holding up a coffee cup. Noticing Steve had not woken up, Wanda got out her seat to stretch her legs a little. "What time is it?"

"Quarter to eight. Pepper and Evelyn are still asleep and I did not want to be the one to wake a sleeping toddler," he answered. "I didn't think you would fancy the coffee they had here so I went to Starbucks."

"Caramel latte?"

"And a blueberry muffin."

"You are an angel when you want to be," she said taking the coffee cup and muffin. "Thanks. Not just for the coffee but for taking her at short notice."

"Well, it was the easiest night we have babysat."

"Did she wake up at all?"

"I think the excitement from last night kept her asleep. So what is the news?"

"He's fine; he just needs to come round from the drugs. He looks better than I do at least."

"Four hours of sleeping will do that."

"Would it be awful to wake Pepper up now so she can bring Evie?"

"I think she would be less inclined to kill you under the circumstances. I'll call her while you have your breakfast."

"Thanks Tony. I just need to stretch my legs to unwind my back. Can you stay with Steve if he wakes up? As long as you do not write on his forehead like last time."

"I promise I will not write on his forehead."

"Good. I'll be back soon." She went back in and gave Steve a kiss on his head.

-o-

"Mama!" Evelyn exclaimed walking on shaky legs to her mother in the canteen. Wanda smiled and scooped Evelyn up into her arms.

"I take it was good news judging by your happy face," said Pepper.

"He's not awake as far as I know but they said he should be fine. Tony is with him now. Has she had anything to eat?"

"No, Tony was a little too insistent and I was not sure about the kids' breakfast at the hotel."

"It's fine, she can have some of my muffin and I'll grab a fruit pot for her to eat."

"Wrapes!" Evelyn said.

"Okay we'll get some grapes."

Meanwhile, Tony was playing about on his phone and wondering if he should write on Steve's forehead.

"Tell you what Rogers, that wife of yours may be the one to kill you if you keep getting yourself into danger like this."

"Wanda?" a groan came out of Steve's mouth as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Seriously? Your wife was here maybe half an hour ago and now you wake up."

"Should I go back to sleep?" asked Steve, his speech slurred due to the heavy medication. It took a few seconds for Tony to understand what he was talking about but got it. Listening to a toddler helped.

"No. I'll just call her to come here. Then I will get the doctor." As soon as Tony had dialled Wanda's number, she answered on the first ring. "He's awake though not speaking much English."

"_I'll be right there."_ It took about a minute for Wanda to arrive still carrying Evelyn though the doctor said firmly it was one at a time. "Take her back to the canteen so she can have something to eat. I feel bad for doing this a second time."

"It might just be for half an hour until poindexter there leaves," said Tony taking the toddler. She was too hungry to even care about being passed from pillar to post. The doctor was not too impressed at being called poindexter. Tony left and Wanda turned back to Steve.

"Hey Wanda," he said, still slightly delirious.

"Oh baby, what are you like," she said walking up to Steve and planted a kiss on his lips.

"Let's have another baby."

"I think that might be the drugs talking Steve."

"I mean it."

"I think the baby we have is enough for a while." Wanda stroked her thumb over his cheek. "I was so scared."

"No need to now. I'm fine."

"I know." She leaned in to kiss him again.

"I don't mean to interrupt this moment between you two; however, I do need to examine the leg."

"Sorry," said Wanda moving out the way.

"What is this?" asked Steve picking up the teddy bear Wanda had given to him a while ago.

"Bucky Bear. It's Evie's teddy that you got her when she was born. It fell out of her diaper bag."

"Maybe you should give it back to her."

"Doctor, when you are finished with your examination, is it okay for our daughter to come in?"

"It should be okay as long as she does not get too over excited," the doctor answered.

"Maybe I can get you something to eat. You must be hungry."

"Is pudding acceptable?"

"Hmm. Maybe. It's a little early for pudding. However, you look as though you need a sugar boost."

"Thanks. Vanilla will do."

"Okay. I'll be right back with the pudding and Evelyn."She kissed his head again before leaving. She walked to the canteen and ordered three vanilla puddings.

"How is he?" asked Pepper.

"Very delirious and hungry."

"Is all that vanilla pudding for him?" asked Tony.

"No, the other two are for Evelyn and me. The doctor is just looking at his leg and he said that Evelyn can see him."

"Yay, you can see Daddy," said Pepper.

"Dadada?" asked Evelyn raising her head from her grapes.

"Yeah Dada," said Wanda. "Finish your breakfast then we can bring him some pudding." Once Evelyn was finished, Wanda picked her up, "Thanks guys for everything you have done in the last few hours."

"Does that mean we can actually sleep?" asked Tony.

"Tony, you've stayed up for four days in a row, this is no problem for you," said Pepper handing the diaper bag. "It's no problem Wanda. Just go and spend time with him."

"Okay, I'll call you when they say that he can come home."

Wanda went back to Steve's room where the doctor had left and Steve had a smile on his face when he saw Evelyn.

"Hey baby," said Steve when Wanda put her on the bed. "How's my girl?"

"Appy," she answered.

"We got the pudding," Wanda said placing a pudding cup on Steve's lap.

"Yay for Mommy." Evelyn snuggled up to Steve having just found her teddy. Steve kissed her forehead and Wanda opened and gave her one of the remaining pudding cups. "Really you are giving her pudding?"

"Call it an apology for disrupting her about five times last night."

"I meant what I said about having another baby."

"And I meant it when I said you were delirious."

"Werios," Evelyn attempted to say, vanilla pudding around her mouth.

"Though I understand why," Wanda said smiling. "Maybe when she is off to pre-school."

"Right now I am just happy with my two beautiful girls and pudding."

"As well as free painkillers."

"And free painkillers.

* * *

**So this might not be as updated as regularly because school and I am on holiday in June. It might be more over the summer but I will write when I can. I do have a list of twenty prompts including this chapter so I know the direction where it is going at least. **

***Romanian for Sweetheart**


	2. The One Where Natasha Fights Over a Doll

Chapter Two

With Steve taking some time off due to the lack of missions, it meant he was watching television more and it also meant that Evelyn was with him while doing so. With the Holidays coming, it meant adverts for turkeys and children's toys. Including one advert for the latest toy that had been played way too much: A singing and dancing Miss Piggy toy.

Evelyn always ran to the TV when the advert came on, always dancing along, squealing her little lungs out. Steve did not think much about it. It was practically designed to attract toddlers what with the dancing toddlers and bright lights. Then one night when he put her to bed, she asked for the toy.

"Maybe for Christmas baby," he answered as she closed her eyes.

"She sleeping?" Wanda asked when he walked into their bedroom.

"Just about. She asked about getting that Miss Piggy toy she saw on the TV."

"What exactly does it do?"

"Dances and sings."

"Evie has enough of those types of toys."

"I suppose you are right. I give it until the end of the week."

"Well, we still have Thanksgiving to get through. Hopefully Pepper is doing the cooking."

"Hopefully," he said snuggling against his wife. "At least Evie can have some proper food."

"Maybe just some yams and turkey."

-o-

Steve's expectations that Evelyn would not want the Miss Piggy toy by the end of the week had been dashed. The Tuesday evening in the week of Thanksgiving, Evelyn was doing her tradition of dancing in front of the television where the advert was playing.

"Dadada! Wook, wook!"

"I can see honey," Steve answered. _"For the forty-fifth time this week."_

"Evie, I don't think the toy is going to dance like that," said Wanda.

"It sings."

"I sing to you so I don't think you need something else that sings."

Evelyn was a persistent child, something she had gotten from her father and she had learned that Steve usually got his way by giving Wanda a kiss.

"Pwease Mama," Evelyn climbed onto the couch and gave her mother a sloppy, wet kiss on the cheek. "Wuv you Mama."

"I hate you sometimes Steve." Wanda was always a sucker when her daughter said she loved her. She had practically cried the first time she said it. However, she did not like spoiling her too much. Even if it was too cute. "Maybe you should ask Daddy if he thinks it is a good idea."

"Dadada?" she asked placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Okay baby. I will see what I can do."

Wanda looked really annoyed at her husband, "Why am I always the bad guy?"

"You were close to breaking yourself."

"Shut up Steve." He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Leave her Rogers. I think you had enough of your wife last night," Tony said coming in with three pizza boxes. Steve blushed as he moved away.

"Funny, I could say the same about you," said Wanda.

"Touché. Dinner is served. Pepper has the other boxes."

"I'll go and grab them for her," said Steve getting up. "Why do you have pink paint on your shirt?"

"It's a secret," Tony answered.

"You have some paint in your hair," said Wanda.

"Okay, I get I look a mess. Can I eat my damn pizza in peace?"

"Tony, what have I said about cursing in front of Evelyn?"

"I don't think she has the brain function to understand what I said. She's a toddler."

"Yes, but don't want her to think it is okay to say those words."

"What are you going to do? Create a swear jar every time I curse in front of the kid?"

"It doesn't sound like a bad idea."

"I was joking."

"I wasn't," Wanda said with a smirk. Wanda went to change the channel and the first thing to come on was the Miss Piggy advert at which point Wanda changed the channel back. Evelyn frowned.

"What was that about?" asked Tony looking confused.

"Monkey here wants this Miss Piggy toy."

"And you said no?"

"I did not say anything. It was Steve who said yes."

"I said I will see what I can do," said Steve coming in with the other boxes.

"Is this about the Miss Piggy toy?" asked Pepper holding a bottle of Diet Coke and a juice box.

"Yes," answered Wanda. "I thought she would go off it by the end of last week."

"Well, it is not going to hurt her to have one thing she really wants," said Tony.

"Tony, she is nearly two and has the attention span of a spoon." Before Wanda had fallen

"It is kind of the reason you and her get on so well," said Pepper. "Tony, why have you got pink in your hair?"

"I assume JARVIS picked the wrong shade of red," said Wanda.

"No. It had nothing to do with an Iron Man suit."

"Sweetie, are you running a fever?" asked Pepper.

"Pep, I am fine." Tony took a bite of his pizza. "Look, when is the toy being distributed?"

"Well, if Disney wants any profit this quarter, then they would distribute the toy this Friday."

"Why this Friday?" asked Steve.

"It's Black Friday. Everything is on sale."

"Oh Lord; I'm beginning to have flashbacks when Jane and Darcy took me three years ago," said Wanda. "Those people were like a pack of wild animals. I think _The Lion King _was more civilised."

Wanda's head turned back to the television at which point the advert came on, much to Wanda's chagrin and Evelyn's delight. The toddler put down her slice of pizza and ran to the television. As much as the advert annoyed her, she couldn't even resist the cuteness of her daughter's excitement.

"Fine, she can have the damn doll," she said.

"Does this swear box extend to you as well?"

"Shut up Tony."

"Well, I am taking Friday off if you want to come to the sales," said Pepper.

"Not a chance in hell Pepper. I'm still traumatised after last time."

"I'm not going on my own. At least not without an Iron Man suit."

"Or Steve and Tony could go."

"Wanda don't be daft. Tony will be crushed by stilettos."

"Also, I would be recognised."

"We could shave the beard off," Wanda suggested.

"Look, I'll go," said Steve. "Maybe I'll bring Bruce and Thor for backup."

"Maybe not Bruce. You could just send your brother in," Tony suggested.

"He is not a play thing Tony. Plus he might accidently steal it. He's done it with bread before."

"Well, it could give them a chance to bond," said Pepper.

"Yeah, at two in the morning," said Wanda.

"Just grab Natasha. It's not an unfair advantage."

-o-

Thanksgiving had come and by ten, Wanda had pretty much passed out with Evelyn cuddled beside her. Steve had forced himself up at half one in the morning so he could get to the store before everyone else. While they had been given some prior warning, Thor and Natasha were not impressed about having been dragged away from their warm beds to sit outside a toy store.

"Guys, do you not think I would like to be at home with my wife right now?" asked Steve looking at the plan that Tony had drawn up.

"This is not big on dignity," said Natasha.

"Think of it this way: everyone here has the same amount of dignity as we do."

"Apparently this is a human custom to battle over an object on the day after Thanksgiving," said Thor.

"Again, there is no dignity in doing this. Have you genuinely drawn up a plan on how to grab a doll?"

"There is no harm in preparation."

"We're going to grab a doll Rogers."

"However we are to battle to retrieve the doll," said Thor. "A battle without our weapons."

"Why don't you just get your brother-in-law?" asked Natasha.

"It's unfair to everyone else."

"We're trying to beat everyone."

"And what lesson are we teaching Evelyn by not playing fair?"

"I don't see her around."

"Aren't you supposed to be her godmother?" asked Thor.

"Yes. When she is of a mind to remember the lessons I will teach her. She is twenty-two months old and has the brain of a small lemon."

"Hey that's my daughter you are talking about."

At that point an older woman cut in front of them standing next to a blonde woman, to which Natasha stood up and tapped her on the shoulder, "Excuse me, I do believe that your spot is that the back of the line."

"I'm sorry?" the woman asked surprised at the redhead's words.

"You are older than I am, so I assume you understand proper social etiquette is to go to the back of the line."

"This is my daughter. She was saving my spot."

"This is a public place that is owned by the government of New York City, not by yourself unless you have the paperwork to say that the spot you are standing on is owned by yourself."

"Natasha, just leave it," Steve hissed.

"We're only here to get a Miss Piggy toy."

"As are we," Natasha responded. "Now can you prove that you own this 'spot'?"

"Do you work for the government of New York?"

"I work for the government of the whole country and I have no problem with putting an older woman in a headlock."

"Ma'am, I am sorry about my friend. She's just grumpy because I got her up so early," Steve said trying to defuse the situation.

"I understand that lack of sleep among humans can make them angry," Thor said.

"No, I am angry because I don't like poor manners."

"Mom, I think she might be serious about putting you in a headlock," the blonde woman said. "We'll just go to the back."

"Thank you," said Natasha as the two women walked away nervously.

"Really?" asked Steve. Natasha sat back down next to Thor and took her coffee.

A couple of hours later, Thor was snoring with his head on a disgruntled Natasha's shoulder. Steve had gone through the plan with them, which they claimed they understood but judging by their reactions, Steve thought it would be better to wing it.

"Thor, wake up. It's nearly time to go in," said Steve.

"Really?" Thor asked yawning. "Five more minutes."

"Come on," said Natasha getting up. Defeatedly, Thor got up just as they heard the doors beginning to open.

"You ready?" asked Steve.

"As we'll ever be." Before they could even move, they were bombarded by the other shoppers and Natasha began to rush into the store, followed closely by the two men. Natasha immediately ran towards to the aisle with the Miss Piggy toys and immediately grabbed one before anyone else could get it. At the same time, another woman had grabbed the same toy.

"Would you mind getting off?" asked Natasha.

"I grabbed it first."

"No, I believe I grabbed it first." The other woman pulled hard on the toy and Natasha pulled back harder.

"Gimmie."

"No. There are plenty of other toys for you to take. Besides are you a five year old?"

"Bitch don't push me."

"I might do so in the hope that you would get off."

In the meantime, Steve had grabbed another one to save time while Natasha was in her scrap. However, a little girl around four looked straight at him so he gave the toy to her to take to her mother. Picking another one up, he saw Thor trying to get one but many people were blocking his way.

"THOR, GO LONG!" Steve shouted to get his attention. Thor heard his name and saw Steve throwing the toy to him. Thor jumped and grabbed the toy. However, he was hit in the eye by the toy that had flung out of Natasha and her rival's hand and he dropped the toy.

Seeing the dropped toy, Natasha ran towards it and to the checkout.

"That will be $15.99."

"Rogers!"

-o-

"Morning," said Stark when he saw the three dishevelled shoppers walk in. Thor had a black eye forming, Natasha had a cut on the side of her face, and Steve just looked exhausted.

"Shut up Stark," said Natasha. Pepper went to grab a steak from the fridge and placed it on Thor's eye.

"Did you get the doll?" asked Wanda putting some toast in for them.

"Yes," said Steve holding up a bag.

"What happen to Thor's eye?" asked Pepper.

"Natasha happened."

"So what are you going to do? Give it to her now or for Christmas?" asked Tony.

"Christmas."

"Well, I can leave my surprise for her birthday."

"What surprise?" asked Wanda.

"Come with me."

Tony led her down to the workshop where on the desk there were planks of wood that were painted pink. "Tony what is this?"

"It is supposed to be a dollhouse. I was going to build it for Christmas, however she clearly has a preference for Miss Piggy."

"Aww, Tony. I think once you have finished it, she'll love it."

"More than Miss Piggy?"

"She's nearly two. This might take her up until she is seven."

"I suppose you are right."

* * *

**Evelyn's reaction may be in another story. *Shurgs*. Oh well, off to see Cap 2. If I** **don't write anymore it is most likely I am dead due to emotional trauma or/and Chris Evans' butt. :D**


	3. The One With The Bickering

Chapter Three

The last few nights had been hell.

Steve had taken Evelyn out for a few hours so she could let off some steam, only for a HYDRA operative to take her from under his nose. Steve tried to run after the car as fast as he could but the car turned into a strange junction and he lost them. Thankfully, S.H.I.E.L.D had implanted a tracking device when Bruce had administered her vaccinations so Steve, Natasha, Tony and Wanda went to get her. However, Evelyn was just the bait and the plan was to get revenge on Steve, Natasha and Wanda.

Thankfully, Evelyn was not hurt but she was emotionally traumatised. Wanda had been punched in the stomach though upon examinations she was fine. However, Evelyn had been having nightmares the last few nights to the point where Steve felt it would be better for her to stay in their room until they phased out.

They were hoping that her second birthday would cheer her up though. Tony had finished the dollhouse having now bought all the miniature furniture to go with it and Pepper and Wanda had made a mini tea party. However, she was still asleep with her Miss Piggy toy that she got for Christmas and no one had the heart to wake her just yet.

"How has it been since the incident?" asked Bruce helping Pepper set up the table.

"Well, last night we put her to bed around seven in the hope she would sleep. I don't know what the hell they did to her but she cannot sleep more than two hours without having a nightmare," Wanda answered placing Bruce's present beside the dinner table.

"Have you tried any soothing methods?"

"Yes and they did not work."

"Well, I cannot suggest anything. She's only two so I doubt she can explain how she feels to a child's psychologist."

"I actually read about this technique where the parents would tell a happy story to their children before they went to sleep and it stopped them from having nightmares," said Pepper.

"That might work. I'll give it a go tonight. I have no idea what to tell her though."

"I think Natasha got her a storybook so there is a start," said Bruce. "I think it is Dr Seuss."

"Hey guys," said Jane coming in with a gift in her hands.

"Hi, Evelyn isn't awake yet. Food is nearly ready," said Wanda.

"How is she?" asked Thor.

"I think the bags under Wanda's eyes should answer your question," answered Pepper.

"Thanks Pepper," said Wanda blankly. "There isn't anything we can do about it though I have looked at ways of making it easier."

"If you need us to take her then we don't mind."

"No I could not do that to you guys. I think I am too used to sleep deprivation to be bothered by it."

"Colic, teething, night terrors," said Bruce. "The unholy trinity."

"What's the unholy trinity?" asked Pietro coming in with his daughter Luna. He was holding what looked to be a cake box.

"The things that causes sleep deprivation in parents," answered Jane.

"She still not sleeping?" Wanda nodded. "Explains a lot."

"Hey, you should understand what it is like not to sleep for three days straight."

"I know. Here I got the cake."

"Oh great."

"Can I have some help?" asked Tony trying to pull in his present.

"Jesus Tony, how much money did you spend on that?" asked Pepper.

"I built I shall have you know. Ah Rogers, help me out here."

"What is it?" asked Steve.

"It's a surprise." Steve helped Tony lift the gift into the living room and placed it by the other presents. "Right, let's get the kid up and get this party started."

"Tony, let's just wait for Natasha then we will get her up," said Wanda. "The more sleep she gets the better."

"I think she's already awake to be honest," said Steve.

"There you go then."

"For crying out loud Tony, it's a two-year-old's birthday party. The most you are getting is orange juice," said Pepper.

-o-

Natasha had arrived just after Steve had brought Evelyn up to the small party. As it was just after Christmas, they limited the amount of gifts to one per person or couple, except Pepper who had not been told about the doll's house though Tony did suggest that she get some small human toys. It was Tony's way of claiming they got the gift together.

Steve and Wanda had gotten a doctor's play set with play doctor's equipment. Bruce had gotten a Little Mermaid doll. Natasha had gotten the Dr Seuss book that Bruce had mentioned. Thor and Jane got a Playmobil® Noah's Ark with all the animals. Pietro had the wooden makeup set (something that Wanda raised her eyebrow at but Pietro claimed Luna picked it out). Finally, Tony brought the doll's house up.

Evelyn, while looking just as exhausted as her mother, was quite happy at the prospect of receiving new toys to play with. She seemed more fascinated with the doll's house than over excited; she and Luna decided to place the animals in all the different rooms along with the dolls.

"I doubt they had lions in ancient Palestine," said Tony,

"I doubt they had giraffes as well but it's a children's toy," said Bruce. "It at least teaches her something."

"Oh so what part of the _Little Mermaid_ is educational?"

"Stop bickering will you, it's a child's birthday party," Natasha chastised the pair.

"They did this at Luna's second so I am not surprised," said Pietro.

"I think in two years they will do the same."

"Why who do you think is next?"

"Maybe Stark. Your sister did mention Pepper was getting ideas into her head."

"What?" asked Tony, slightly startled.

"Nothing. Though I do wonder if you and Crystal will have another child."

"I highly doubt we will have another. Luna is enough for one person."

"Well, I do not intend to have a child. S.H.I.E.L.D need one of us not to have a kid," said Natasha.

"To be fair, I am in no fit state to have a child," said Bruce.

"He has a point. If he gets so much as a hard-on then he hulks out."

"Well done for lowering the tone," Bruce murmured. "And let's face it, you might have an illegitimate child out their somewhere."

"Why do you assume I might have an illegitimate child?"

"To be fair, out of all of us, it is more likely to be you," said Pietro.

"I do not need a comment from Speedy Gonzalez. It's bad enough I have your sister doing it every single goddamn day."

"Hey, leave my sister out of it."

Wanda, Steve, Pepper, Thor and Jane were overhearing the argument and Wanda thought it would be best to defuse the situation. Steve thought keeping an eye on the girls would keep him out of this argument.

"Well done you two; it took you forty-five minutes to start an argument at a two-year-old's party," she said standing in-between the two.

"Damn it," Pepper said handing fifty dollars over to Jane. Thor, disgruntled, handed over some paper notes.

"We weren't arguing," Tony said. "I just made a comment about how you keeping picking at all my flaws."

"Tony, listen. The things I pick at are minor things about how you keep leaving the flaming mayonnaise on the kitchen counter."

"But he is still a narcissistic douche."

"Yes, true though less so than when we met him. Look, you are no better. Hence the reason I can tolerate Tony for all his annoying habits."

"You have to admit, your brother is good preparation," said Natasha. "Look, this isn't about your egos."

"Exactly, now either you two be civil for the rest of this party, or Pepper will get the Get-Along T-shirt."

"You actually have a Get-Along T-shirt?" asked Jane.

"Don't you remember we had to put Tony and Thor in the t-shirt?"

"I shall say that utensil worked in our favour," said Thor.

"We'll behave," Tony said quickly.

"Yeah, we'll behave," said Pietro

"The scary thing about all this is how much of a mother you have become," said Steve.

"Comes with pushing a baby out."

"Yeah, it's a good thing we got that carpet replaced," said Pepper.

"It could have been worse, trust me," said Bruce.

-o-

Now that the party was over, Wanda had tried to put Evelyn to bed. However, she wanted to play with her toys some more so she could not sleep. By seven, she had passed out on her parent's bed with both the Miss Piggy toy and the giraffes from the Noah's Ark. Steve had not had the heart to move her and had just left her there with a Dr Seuss book on his stomach.

"So much for big tough Captain America," Wanda said sitting on the bed.

Steve smirked, "Do you think that Tony and your brother will ever get along?"

"Well, I think after I threatened to put them in the Get Along T-shirt, they will be more civilised from now on."

"Considering that we are going to be living here for a while, they pretty much have to get along."

"Yeah, I need to talk to you about something. Do you think it is time to fly the nest?"

"Huh?"

"Well, Evie is getting older and I was thinking we should get a house with a garden for her to run around in."

"I thought you liked living here."

"I do, and I am really grateful that Pepper and Tony took us in when we needed the help. However we are going to need a lot more space."

"Okay, I see your point. I'll begin to look for two bedroom houses tomorrow."

"I was thinking three bedrooms."

"Where are you going with this?" asked Steve looking confused.

"You know that blood test that S.H.I.E.L.D took a few days ago? They said that I had a significant amount of hCG in my blood."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm pregnant."

"What?" he asked surprised.

"They called me this morning. I think I am only a few weeks. I was just as surprised as you were when they told me. Though you would be pleased to know that I did not cry like last time."

"Hopefully it should go a bit smoother."

"I will try not to get stressed this time. Mainly because I have missy to look after."

"This is going to be interesting," said Steve rubbing Evelyn's head. Gently he leaned over to kiss his wife with his hand on her belly.

"Mama," Evelyn whimpered in her sleep and Steve moved away.

"Okay domniţă. I'm here," Wanda said wrapping her arm around her daughter.

"Let's just pray that book made her dream about talking cats instead of what she went through."

"Hopefully they got the message and won't attempt to do it again. I don't even what to think about how upset she was."

"At least she wasn't hurt or else I really would have let loose."

"To be honest you should have. Even if they did not hurt her."

"It doesn't matter now. She's safe, we're both fine and we are going to have another baby. I love you and her and our peanut."

"Yeah you're right. I love you too. So what do you want: boy or girl?"

"I think a boy would be nice. With Luna and Evelyn, I think there needs to be one boy."

"Well, we have nine months to wait."


	4. The One With Pietro in Drag

Chapter Four

With Tony and Pepper off on a much needed vacation (so Tony claimed), Natasha on a mission, Bruce in Cameroon, and Thor and Jane on a visit to Asgard, Wanda was really unsure about having to move everything to the new house while nine months pregnant, especially with a toddler to keep occupied. This was when she turned up two days before the move on her brother's doorstep with Evelyn and a bag.

"Can you do us a massive favour and look after Evelyn while we get stuff moving to the new house?" she asked.

"Wouldn't it be easier for me to help you move?"

"That would be easier but I already have a plan to organise everything tomorrow before the movers arrive."

"You cannot be moving everything."

"I am not moving, I am just packing the stuff. There are only three rooms that need any packing, everything else has been sent to the house. Anyway, the work may help get this one moving," she said pointing to her belly.

"Okay, you win."

"Thank you." Wanda hugged her brother before handing him the bag and a piece of paper.

"What is this?"

"Evelyn's nap time schedule."

"What happened to letting her go to sleep when she is tired?"

"We tried that and she would not go to sleep that night. Just go with it and it should take about twenty or so minutes for her to go to sleep."

"To think I was over all this naptime stuff."

"Try being me. Soon I am going to have two naptimes to deal with."

"Just take it easy with the moving."

"I don't hold out any hope, nine months pregnant or not."

-o-

By nine that evening, Wanda had managed to sort out most of the furniture they were moving and all the stuff they needed was packed.

"My back is absolutely killing me," she complained just lying on the bedroom floor.

"Told you were overdoing it," Steve chuckled helping her off the floor and into the bed.

"It is not as though there is anyone else but you to help and you are useless at organisation."

"Well, as we are not moving the bed, you let the movers and I do the work."

"That I would love very much." Steve lay beside her and held her close. "It seems strange not having Evelyn here. It's too quiet."

"Think of it this way, we can spend some time together as we used to before the baby."

"Not a chance Steve. Do you think I should call and speak to her?"

"She'll be asleep by now and we both know how difficult it is to get her back to sleep."

"True. God knows how my brother did it, if he has managed it."

-o-

"This is why I wanted a boy," Pietro thought as both Luna and Evelyn finished his 'makeover' the day after his twin and dropped Evelyn on his doorstep. The plan was for him to be the princess, which meant he needed a tiara and Crystal's jewellery (that they had gotten by Luna giving Evelyn a piggyback). Thankfully, they did not get any of the makeup but only used the wooden makeup set Evelyn got for her birthday. "Are we done yet girls?"

"No. We need pretty dress," answered Luna.

"I don't think I am going to fit in any of those dresses."

"What about Mommy's dress?"

"I think your mom might kill me, or worse find all this completely hilarious." At that point, a small green bundle came in, much to Pietro's confusion. "Where is your cousin?"

"HERE!" a voice shouted from under the green cloth.

"Evelyn what are you doing?" he asked pulling the fabric off his niece.

"Dress for P'incess."

"I cannot wear this dress. It's not for me."

"Why?"

"Because I am a boy and boys don't wear dresses."

"But I am wearing trousers and boys always wear trousers," Luna said.

"That isn't the same thing."

"If girls can wear boy's clothes then boys can wear girl's clothes."

"It doesn't work like that Luna."

"It's fair."

"Fair," Evelyn repeated. "Pwease."

Considering that most of his dignity had been stripped the minute they put the tiara on him, and wanting to avoid a tantrum from the pair of them, Pietro sighed and put the dress over the outfit he was wearing. "Happy?"

"Now P'incess sit," Evelyn demanded.

"I swear if your mother has another girl I will…" Pietro did as he was told and sat on the couch. "Now what?" The girls shrugged their shoulders. "Can I take all this off now?"

"No," Luna answered shaking her head.

"Why?"

"Because you P'incess."

"Why did I agree to be the stay at home parent," he mumbled. He remained in the outfit for the next few hours before his wife came home, trying to hide her amusement. "This isn't really funny."

"I think it is."

"No," said Evelyn running up towards her aunt. Both adults looked in confusion at each other before returning their attention to the toddler. "You not speak to P'incess like dat."

"Apparently I am the princess."

"Honey, I think the game might be over."

"No it isn't Mommy," said Luna not taking her eyes off the television. "He has to stay like that 'til bedtime."

"Why?" asked Pietro.

"I said so."

Pietro grumbled and then the phone rang. "It's your sister."

"Your child is torturing me," Pietro said upon putting the phone to his ear.

_"Is she not going down for her nap?"_

"No, she and my lovely daughter decided to dress me in drag and make me wear this until I go to bed. Simply because I am the princess."

_"Oh come on Pietro. They are only small. It has nothing to do with your masculinity."_

"My masculinity is intact fact you. I would just rather be comfortable."

"It might help if you did not wear about three layers underneath," his wife commented.

_"Well, it is not exactly as though I had the chance to do it so it seems right that my daughter should do it."_

"Why should you have inflicted this on me?"

_"Because you are technically speaking my baby brother."_

"Baby brother? Baby brother? Sister, I was born thirty seconds after you! You cannot call me 'baby brother'! I am a responsible husband and father, and even when we were outcast, you knew I did not like to be called 'baby brother'!"

"Why is Daddy shouting?"

"I'll explain when you are older." Evelyn looked a little startled at the shouting but just stayed looking at the phone.

"_Okay, calm down Pietro. Can I just speak to my daughter?"_

_"_Okay, sorry. I overreacted a little."

_"I think a little is an understatement."_

"Anyway have you moved in?"

_"Just about. The boxes need unpacking, the toddler bed needs to be put together, but Steve will do that."_

"Well, you are not picking her up until tomorrow so it isn't as though you have to worry about her not having a bed to sleep in."

_"True. Anyway weren't you going to put her on?"_


	5. The One Where Tony Gets Sick

Chapter Five

"Wanda!" Steve called.

"Yeah?" asked Wanda walking into the bedroom with a breast pump and a bottle filled with milk.

"Can you explain why you have dressed our son in a little lamb costume?"

"Oh come on Steve, he looks absolutely adorable," she answered picking the baby boy up. "There isn't much in the way of scary Halloween costumes for newborns."

"Considering what Evelyn and Luna put your brother through I am beginning to think this is some genetic trait that only the women in your family have."

"Yet you still laughed."

"I am not going to comment on that Wanda."

"Going back to the original point, there is no time to get another costume and I like it."

"So because you like it, you are not going to change it."

"Steve, were you the one that went through a twenty-eight hours in labour? Were you the one when they administered the epidural it only worked on the one side?"

"No."

"What did you do for three hours while I was in agony?"

"I fell asleep," he bashfully said. "Okay, you win."

"You may as well get used to it. I'm going to be using that one for a while."

"Why, are you going to dress James in more baby farm animal costumes?"

"Maybe. It isn't as though you did not do something similar to Evelyn."

"Okay, I got your point."

"So, what are you dressed as?"

"Well, it's a group theme. I'm the Blue Power Ranger. It's suitable because Stark is red and Bruce is green."

"Who else is doing it?"

"Thor's the Black Ranger."

"Isn't there a Yellow and Pink Ranger?"

"Yeah, Natasha said over her dead body and Jane already got hers when it was suggested."

"So what is Natasha supposed to be then?"

"I have no idea."

"Then what is your idea for a Halloween costume?"

"Well, just grabbed a cow costume. Get it."

_-o-_

"This has to be the gaudiest looking pumpkin I have ever seen," Bruce declared looking at a glitter covered pumpkin.

"Wanda didn't want Evelyn to carve any pumpkins," Pepper explained. "Instead we made Mrs Pumpkin Head and used Velcro to make faces."

"And used glitter. Toddler friendly pumpkins."

"Well, it's Halloween. It's a time to be creative. Though Tony could have really done better with the group costume."

"It could have been worse. Though I don't think Natasha was too impressed with his suggestion that she should be the Pink Ranger."

"Is it because even though the Yellow Ranger is usually a woman the Pink Ranger is the one that has the skirt on her outfit for no reason."

"Pepper, most of your teenage years were in the eighties."

"It doesn't mean that I am blind to merchandising. Where is my husband by the way?"

"Ten bucks that he is trying to get into the costume." At that point, Tony came in with a blotchy nose and red eyes. "Well, at least your face matches your suit."

I think I am sick Pep," he said. Pepper rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the sympathy babe."

"It took you three days to admit that you were sick. Any sympathy that I felt has gone," Pepper said. "Go back to bed Tony, we have everything covered."

"What do you expect me to do Pepper? Sleep?"

"That might be a good idea. Your body needs some rest."

"There is a party, and you expect me to miss it?"

"Yes," answered both Pepper and Bruce.

"What is he complaining about now?" asked Wanda coming in with James in a sling on her front, Steve dressed in his Blue Ranger costume and Evelyn in a Little Red Riding Hood costume with the play doctor's case in her hands.

"Tony is sick and he wants to get drunk," answered Pepper.

"What else is new?" asked Natasha walking past.

"Funny," said Tony. "I have an idea; I could look after the kids if you need me to."

"You are not getting my kids sick," Wanda declared looking serious.

"Tony, just go to bed. I'll grab you a glass of juice," Pepper demanded pointing her finger to the door.

"Can you at least get me a banana popsicle?"

"I don't think we have banana popsicles."

"Can I then stay?"

"Bed. I am not telling you again." Tony skulked back to the bedroom where he flipped the pillow on his side of the bed over so his face was feeling cool as soon as his face touched the pillow. Pepper came in and placed the orange juice on the bedside table.

"I'm bored," Tony said into the pillow.

"You've only been there two minutes. You must have the same attention span as Evelyn."

"It explains why we get on so well."

"I suppose. Anyway, if you want anything just ask JARVIS."

"Will do." Pepper left Tony in the quiet of the room when he felt his eyelids drooping. The talking had given him a bit of a headache and he had to admit Pepper may have had the best advice for him. "JARVIS, can you dim the lights?"

"Immediately sir."

-o-

When Tony opened his eyes again, the clock on the bedside table read that he had been asleep a good three hours, which had done wonders on his headache and fever and he did feel a little better. The only thing that was bothering him was the tickling at the back of his throat. He heard the door open and turned to see if Pepper had come to see if he was all right.

Only he just about saw the top of an auburn head rather than the tall redhead he was expecting. Evelyn walked by the bed with her play doctor's kit.

"Mama said you sick," she said opening the kit. She pulled out the plastic thermometer and said, "Say ah."

"Ah," Tony opened his mouth so Evelyn could but the thermometer into his mouth. After a few moments, she took it out and shook her head. "What's the verdict doc?"

"Tab-lots." Evelyn went into her kit again and pulled out a box of Razzles, took two out and gave them to Tony. "You 'ave to drink tab-lots."

"I will in a second," said Tony chewing on the Razzles before taking a sip of the juice that he had left on the side, though it had gotten sour so he pulled a face causing Evelyn to giggle. He had to admit that he had a fondness for the little ankle biter, even if she had to be born at the most inconvenient time.

"EVELYN!" someone shouted through the halls.

"She's in here Pepper," Tony said.

"Sweetheart what are you doing?" Pepper asked coming into the room.

"She's playing doctor," answered Tony.

"Well, Wanda doesn't want her getting sick so she can go back to the party to play." Evelyn pouted as did Tony. "Don't you both do that face; you know I cannot resist them."

"That was the point Pep."

"Okay, Evie you can play for ten minutes."

"Did you get the banana Popsicle?" asked Tony. Pepper threw a wrapper at him and Tony opened the wrapper showing that it was a twin popsicle. Evelyn's blue eyes lit up and Tony snapped it in half, handing one to the toddler. "I won't tell your mom if you don't."

"Okay," she answered licking the popsicle with a beaming smile.

A part of him would reconsider his stance on having kids but considering his and Pepper's age, the fact that he could have stunted fertility due to the amount of toxins he had put in his body over the years, it seemed unlikely that would happen. He didn't really need a child to feel complete and he was content with just being married to Pepper.

"What wrong?" Evelyn asked.

"Nothing kiddo. Just thinking you could do with another playmate than your family. So what do you think to your brother?" Evelyn shrugged. "Think he is cute?"

"He cries."

"Everyone cries. Except me. I don't cry." Evelyn didn't say anything but went back into her doctors kit. "So am I any better?" Evelyn put the fake thermometer into his mouth then took it out. She nodded. "Great I can join the party."


	6. The One With the Pregnancy Tests

Chapter Six

Tony was planning a late non-Christmas celebration for the team as not everyone was able to attend Christmas Day. Still, they were without Bruce and Natasha, the former back in Africa and the latter on a mission. However, Pepper had woken up feeling rather ill and as everyone was staying overnight, it felt as though there was a bug was spreading as Jane felt sick as well.

"I never realised that my cooking was that bad," Tony commented looking at the frying pan.

"What the hell is that anyway?" asked Pepper opening the window so some fresh air could enter the room.

"Well, it was intended to be enchiladas, though it looks like cannolis," answered Tony shrugging.

"They taste like egg rolls though," said Steve taking a bite. "You might want to reconsider who does the cooking for tonight's dinner party."

"Or we could just order Mexican like normal people."

"Yeah, I'm not sure that Mexican will sit well with me," said Pepper. "I don't think it would sit well with Jane as well."

"Are you going to be all right for this evening?" Steve asked looking concerned.

"I hope so," said Pepper started to walk out of the kitchen.

"Let's just pray that I don't get it," said Tony.

About an hour later, Jane had decided to take refuge in the workshop with Tony and Wanda and she had begun snacking on Wanda's bagel.

"You do know that is not your bagel right?" Wanda asked and Jane looked down and realised what she was eating.

"Oh God, I am so sorry," said Jane putting the plate down. "I've been feeling ill all morning and now I am starving."

"Are you sure you are okay?"

"Pep wasn't feeling to great this morning either," Tony butted in. "It might just be a small bug."

"It might be. You may as well finish the bagel," Wanda insisted.

"You sure?"

"You've eaten most of it."

"Um, I don't know if I have any chilli powder," said Tony. "It's for the sauce."

"Do you want me to get some? I could do with some fresh air," Jane volunteered.

"If you want."

-o-

The bus to the store was a strange one for Jane. First, a stranger offered a seat for her; second, the rocking of the bus made her feel travelsick; finally, she remembered that Thor had commented on the way out that she looked positively glowing. The last one was not strange one as Thor commented on how she looked nearly every day, but he never really said she was glowing before.

It was then she realised that there was a possibility she could be pregnant, and her eyes flew open in shock.

"Hi," Jane said approaching the pharmacists in the store before backing away slightly. "You know what, it's probably nothing."

The pharmacist put down a pregnancy test on the counter, "I know that look. It might be nothing but you know that if you don't find out now then you are going to be in for a surprise in a couple of months."

"Not as big as surprise as my partner is going to be," Jane said taking the box.

"Well, it cannot be a bad thing then."

"It won't but…"

"It wasn't planned."

"Isn't it obvious? What aisle are the saltines and ginger ale? Also the chilli powder?"

"Soda is aisle six and crackers are aisle eight. Condiments are in aisle one."

"Thank you." Jane walked away from the counter down one of the aisles just as Pepper walked up to the counter.

"I need a pregnancy test please and a non-see through bag," she said. The pharmacist placed one in a bag and handed it to Pepper.

"Just remember to wait the full three minutes for a plus or a minus. Just relax and you will be fine either way."

"I doubt my husband will be. His heart isn't exactly strong enough to take something that shocking. What aisle are the saltines and ginger ale?"

"Soda is aisle six and crackers are aisle eight."

"Thank you," Pepper said walking away to the nearest aisle.

-o-

Pepper got home first and ran to the nearest bathroom on the ground floor. Usually she would have gone to her and Tony's but she did not want him finding out before she could tell him – if she was pregnant that is. She tapped her foot waiting for the result until someone banged on the door.

"Hello, are you nearly done in there?" Jane had the same idea as Pepper and needed to use the bathroom on the ground floor.

"Yeah, just give me a second," Pepper replied looking anxious. She knew Jane would not be a patient person, especially when she needed the bathroom, so she took the tissue box on the back of the toilet and hid the test behind it. Quickly straightening herself up, and washed her hands before leaving.

"Pepper?" asked Jane looking confused.

"Did you get the chilli powder?" Jane gave her the pot and rushed into the bathroom. She took the test and waited for the result to come up, only for Pepper to bang on the door. "Jane, I left something in there."

"What is it, I'll give it to you," Jane said taking her eye off the test for a moment.

"No, I will grab it myself. It's kind of private."

"Pepper don't you have tampons upstairs?"

"Please?" Jane sighed and went to hide the test behind the tissue box, quickly washed her hands and opened the bathroom door. She let Pepper go into the bathroom and she hid around the corner so she could look at her test as soon as Pepper left.

Pepper looked behind the tissue box only to find that her test had been knocked off and onto the floor so she bent down to try to retrieve her test from behind the basin. When she felt it, she picked it up and looked at the result: plus sign.

Before she could react, her phone rang and she dropped the test in shock. "Damn it," she whispered. She pressed the ignore button and went to grab her test and put it in the bin. She washed her hands again and left the bathroom.

Jane peered from around the corner and dashed into the bathroom, looked behind the tissue box, sighed in frustration before grabbing the test from behind the basin: plus sign. Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, she put the test into the bin and left the bathroom.

"What is with your happy face?" asked Jane walking into the kitchen. "You seemed to rather sick this morning."

"Nothing is wrong and so did you," Pepper replied pressing the switch to start the coffee machine.

"Yeah, there is a reason for that?"

"There is a reason for mine as well."

"I'm pregnant," they said simultaneously.

"What?" asked Jane.

"What?" Pepper repeated.

"This is good right? Us both being pregnant at the same time?"

"Could be weirder. Wanda and Natasha could be as well."

"If that happened, S.H.I.E.L.D will think there is some sort of pact. Have you told Tony yet?"

"No. Have you told Thor?"

"No. Should we wait until after this dinner party to tell them?"

"I have a feeling that Tony would not be able to contain himself, so yes."

"Neither would Thor. Right, here is the plan: when someone offers you a drink, take it. It's the first thing that tips someone off. Take a sip, then while the glass is still in your mouth, quietly spit it back in."

"Fine. What else?"

"That is it. If someone makes a comment about babies, you do not react in a way that will arouse suspicion."

"When did you learn all this?"

"Darcy and her daytime soap operas while she and Ian were on a break. Took me three days to figure out how all the characters were linked."

"Okay we can do this." Pepper held her hand up and Jane gave her a high five. "We can do this. The only problem is Tony's food."

"I have nothing to suggest about that."

-o-

By the time all the guests had come around, Tony had served up a cocktail that he called a Holiday Smash Up; fortunately for Pepper and Jane, it did not down well with everyone. Except Thor, who would eat and drink anything regardless of how it tasted, and Wanda, who was still breast feeding so was abstaining from alcohol.

"Okay, maybe combining mulled wine with beer was a bad idea," Tony said as everyone returned their glasses to the tray.

"Maybe?" asked Steve. Pepper and Jane pretended to grimace at the taste despite not having sipped a drop of the 'cocktail'.

"Okay it was a bad idea. Right, does anyone want to move into the dining room to eat?"

"I'll go and grab some proper drinks from the wine fridge," said Pepper getting up.

"I'll come and help," Jane declared following Pepper out of the lounge. "Okay I am getting a little nervous."

"You're nervous? You need to relax because if you aren't relaxed then I am not relaxed then everything will be revealed."

"Say relax one more time."

"Relax."

"Okay, we'll just grab the wine, pretend to drink it then everything will be fine until later."

"Deal."

"Why could I have not found out yesterday?"

"When did you find out?" asked Pepper opening the wine fridge.

"This afternoon," Jane answered pulling out a bottle of red wine.

"Wait was that in the bathroom downstairs?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because that when I took my pregnancy test. That was the reason I needed to go back in."

"I didn't see a pregnancy test in the bathroom."

"I hid it behind the tissue box on the toilet."

"I went to hide my test behind the tissue box on the toilet as well. I didn't see yours."

"Mine fell down the back of the toilet."

"So did mine."

"Wait did we pick up the same test?"

"I don't know I threw mine in the trash."

"I threw mine in the trash!" Pepper said grabbing Jane's hand and dragged her downstairs to the bathroom where they both looked through the bin for the pregnancy tests. "I cannot believe we are digging in the trash to look for something we peed on."

Jane found one and said, "This one is a negative."

"This is the positive," said Pepper dropping the test back in the bin and went to wash her hands.

"Right so one of us is pregnant. Dear god, how did this get so complicated?"

Pepper was about to say something when the door swung open and the pair of them froze when Wanda stood at the door, raising her eyebrows at the test in Jane's hand.

"Oh my god," Wanda exclaimed. "Are you?"

"Maybe," Jane answered tilting her hand from side-to-side.

"To cut a long story short, Jane and I took a pregnancy test around the same time and they both got mixed up so we picked up the same test and we both thought we were pregnant but now only one of us is pregnant," Pepper explained. "That was a lot longer than I intended."

"Why did you not take tests in separate bathrooms?" asked Wanda.

"We didn't want Steve or Tony finding out before we told them ourselves," replied Jane rolling her eyes at her lack of common sense.

"All we need is another pregnancy test just to find out who is actually pregnant," said Pepper. "However, Tony has put a lot of effort into the dinner, so we might have to do it later."

"Look, Tony is going to take about fifteen minutes cooking the starter," Wanda explained. "I'll run to the store, get a test and one of you can take the test."

"Fine, we'll make a diversion so you can rush out," said Pepper.

"What diversion?"

-o-

Pepper's diversion involved turning the oven up and therefore burning the starter, much to her relief. As a suggestion, Wanda and Jane decided to get some pizza for dinner and while Jane ordered the pizza, Wanda got the test so Jane wouldn't have face the same pharmacist as before.

"Got the test?" asked Pepper.

"Yes. This might be a funny story to tell the kids."

"Define funny?" asked Wanda. "So who is going to do the test?"

"Do you want to flip a coin?" asked Pepper. Wanda took a coin from her pocket and flipped the coin into the air. "Heads."

"Heads it is," said Wanda.

"Hey, what is going on. I have about three other people up there completely starving," said Tony walking in front of them.

"Tony I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be about five minutes," said Pepper.

"Fine, just let me take your coat Wanda."

"Actually I can do it myself," said Wanda.

"No I insist." Tony tried to take her coat and Wanda resisted to the point where the pregnancy test box flung out of her pocket and onto the floor, causing everyone to stop in shock. Tony looked at Wanda who shook her head to deny that she is pregnant.

"Um…" Jane stuttered.

Pepper went to pick up the test and said before leaving, "Excuse me."

Tony raised his eyes in shock until Wanda and Jane urged him to follow her, which he did. In the meantime, the women went up the stairs with the pizzas.

"Where have you two been?" asked Thor.

"Pizza," Jane answered.

"You mean something that is edible?" asked Steve.

"Don't be mean," Wanda chastised her husband. "Tony has tried, bless him."

"This coming from the person who bought the pizza."

"So what is going on with Pepper and Stark?" asked Thor. The two women shrugged their shoulders.

-o-

"Pep, why didn't you tell me this before?" Tony asked pacing up and down the bathroom.

"I was waiting until after the dinner party until this whole mix up happened," answered Pepper sat on the toilet seat, tapping the test on the back of her hand.

"Wait, Thor has no clue about this does he?"

"Not as far as I am aware of."

"Well, if Jane is the one who is pregnant, then we'll know before he does."

"We'll just act surprised when they tell us."

"Fair enough." It took another minute before Pepper finally spoke again.

"It's negative."

"Oh," Tony said flatly. He could see Pepper looked disappointed so he got down to her level. "Hey, don't worry about it. It isn't the end of the world as we know it."

"I know Tony. I suppose we should show our faces because everyone is most likely confused by all the commotion."

"By the way, did you turn the oven up so the food got burnt?"

"Why would I do that?"

By the time they got back upstairs, everyone was indulging on their pizza and chatting away without care. Pepper sighed and whispered the result into Jane's ear.

"Um, guys I'm kind of beat so I am going to bed," she said getting up from the table and rushed away before anyone could question what was going on.

"Go," Wanda mimed to Thor, the result clear to her. Thor looked confused as he left, as did Steve. It was a few minutes of silence before they heard a triumphant shout of excitement and Wanda, Tony and Pepper burst out laughing.

"Okay, what is going on?" asked Steve.

"A very long and complicated story short, Thor is going to be a daddy," answered Pepper.

"Oh. Well, good luck to them. Also James can have a playmate." At that point, the baby monitor blared with the sound of James crying, demanding to be fed. "Speaking of which."

"Let's just say I am planning on giving no good advice to Jane and Thor," said Wanda getting up.

"I take it life is no fun as the main provider of your child's food," Tony commented.

"Tony, when you have a small human gnawing at your nipples about five times a day then you can comment on breastfeeding."


	7. The One Where the Rogers Compromise

Chapter Seven

Wanda couldn't help but shake her head. Two lacerations, a dislocated shoulder, three broken fingers, concussion and multiple bruises. S.H.I.E.L.D may as well have sent Steve back home in a matchbox.

"It's not as bad as it looks," he said sitting on the couch. "Are the kids in bed?"

"Yes," Wanda answered, the annoyance clear in her voice. "Do you want a drink?"

"Water will do for now." The next few minutes while Wanda got the water for him was silent. Steve had a feeling she was angry with him, or at least at the fact he was injured. Usually it would be the latter but this time he had a feeling she was angry with him. "Wanda, you need to stop worrying about me. I can take whatever is thrown at me."

"You, Tony, Natasha, and Thor were fortunate to be about three metres away from that landmine or else S.H.I.E.L.D would be currently examining whose body parts were whose." Steve laughed a little, thinking she was joking, though she raised a stern eyebrow at him. "Are you angry?"

"Honestly, after nearly five years I am just exasperated. It was easier before we had Evelyn because I could come with you and know the situation at first glance. Now I have to constantly worry about how to explain to the kids how their daddy got himself blown up."

"Wanda, it's my job."

"Steve a job is something you work regularly, either every day or a few days a week. What Director Fury does is a job, what Agent Hill does is a job, what Natasha does is a job. You are only called in when you are needed."

"What do you want me to do, say no to every mission?"

"No… I just… Can you just look the mission over before you make a hasty decision?"

"Wanda it was you who wanted me to take less missions as all Fury was doing is sending me on wild goose chases."

"I know Steve," she said loudly.

"Okay, not so loud. Would you rather I just take a desk job like you?"

Before Wanda could open her mouth, James's cries were heard from upstairs, "I'll just see to him. Give me some time to calm time." Wanda walked up the stairs and into James's bedroom where the infant had his face scrunched up and his fists balled up by his face, almost screaming his lungs out. "Okay buddy, I know that you are hungry. Just give me a moment."

She took him out the crib, lifting her t-shirt in the process. Within a few moments, he had latched on and started feeding, his green eyes looking intently at his mother. Wanda suddenly felt much calmer. A part of her knew she was being somewhat unreasonable about Steve going on dangerous missions. He was a solider born and bred and it was much to expect him to just take a desk job for her; it seemed that he was doing all the compromising what with taking less missions and moving to New York for her to work.

"Do you think that I worry too much?" she asked her son. "I only worry about your daddy because I love him. At least that is how your Aunt Natasha explained it to me. Maybe I am being a little unreasonable." Wanda heard a small noise from the door where she saw Evelyn standing there with one of her books, her curls practically stuck to the three-year-old's forehead. "Hey, why are you up?"

"I 'eard shouting."

"Sorry, honey. I did not mean to wake you up," Wanda cringed. "I'm a little busy at the moment but daddy is downstairs and he really wants to see you."

Evelyn's eyes flew open and she bounced and ran down the stairs, where her father was trying to find a comfortable position on the couch for his shoulder.

"Daddy?" She looked confused at the bandages, stitches, and bruises. Steve sat up and saw his daughter with blank expression her face. "You hurt."

"I'm fine baby honestly. I missed you though."

"Missed you too. Story."

"Okay, but you might have to hold the book up for me." Evelyn climbed onto the couch and held the hardback book up. "Okay, _Where the Wild Things Are._"

About five minutes later, Evelyn was beginning to fall asleep. Steve was feeling rather sleepy as well but continued reading the book until he was certain she had fallen asleep. By the time he had finished, she had dozed off. With the arm that was not injured, he carried her back upstairs and to her bed. Once she was tucked in, he went next door where Wanda was burping James with one hand on his blonde hair and the other on his back.

"She's asleep," he said.

"Steve," Wanda began, "I'm sorry. I know I am being unreasonable about you going on those sorts of missions. I think after you were shot in the leg, I get scared that I will never see you alive again."

"To be fair, me being injured has been in our relationship since we met."

"True, though you do see my point about S.H.I.E.L.D sending you back in a match box. You're not exactly young anymore."

"I wasn't exactly young when we met."

"Okay, point made," she mumbled placing the baby back into the crib. "I guess your day job is caring for the kids while I am at work."

"At least it keeps me busy," Steve said placing a hand on her shoulder. "Wanda, I understand why you think I should stop going on missions: we have these two now and you worry that I will never see them grow up into whatever they want to be."

"That and the fact I love you too much. You should have seen me when they told me you had been shot in the leg; I was an utter mess."

"I would be worried if you weren't an utter mess." Steve kissed her on the temple. "Just let me worry about you. I always do when I am away from you three."

Wanda smiled and leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the lips. "Sometimes you are too brave for your own good Steve. Yet I would not have you any other way. It's one of the reasons I love you."

"Well, one of the reasons I love you is the fact you care so much about me getting injured repeatedly. Do you want to make a deal?"

"What sort of deal?"

"If I get seriously hurt on a mission again, I promise that I will quit going on missions."

"You don't have to, not for me."

"Wanda, there would be no one else I would do it for. Well, I would do it for James and Evelyn as well."

"Okay, that is a deal I can do."


	8. The One With the Poker Game

Chapter Eight

"Tony, can you stop being such a sore loser?" asked Pepper while trying to deal with Tony sulking over a game of chess that he had lost against Natasha.

"She cheated?"

"How? Chess is not a predictable game and as far as I am concerned it was a fair game."

"How could she have won about four times in a row?"

"Tony, can your ego just allow itself to think that someone might be better at you at something?"

"When most of your childhood involves your father pretty much comparing you to someone you had no intention of meeting but was forced to due to someone else's power hungry brother, you tell me to have less of an ego."

"Of course, blame your father again," she muttered. "Look, Tony, you cannot be the best at everything. Sure you are a genius but it doesn't mean you are entirely infallible."

"I never said I wasn't."

"Then what is the problem? It is just a game of chess. Though I have an idea that it might just be spoilt brat syndrome."

"I was far from spoilt Pepper."

"Okay fair point, but you are pulling the spoilt brat moves. The fact you are sulking over something that happened yesterday is a little pathetic Tony."

"Well, what do you suggest I do?"

"Suck it up and deal with it."

-o-

"So who is for a game of poker?" asked Tony while everyone else was deciding what to have to eat from a takeaway.

"Is that the one with the sticks?" asked Thor having just been handed his son Alex.

"No, card game. After last year's football game, no one is allowed to play any game that involves physical contact," Pepper explained. "That includes Hungry Hungry Hippos."

"It isn't strip poker, is it?" asked Natasha.

"Come on, I am much more dignified than that," Tony scoffed. "No, just a friendly game of poker, with actual money. Only it will be boys versus girls."

"I don't think gambling with money is a good idea Tony," Pepper said.

"I have enough."

"We don't," said Jane.

"Okay, maybe not money…"

"Whoever loses has to give up something. If they fail to they have to pay up whatever is in the final pool," Natasha suggested.

"Like what?"

"You will have to give up making some sort of sarcastic comment for about a week. Hands up who agree," Natasha raised her hand, as did Pepper, Thor and Jane.

"Okay, you have to give up … You have to give up…"

"I could wear that ridiculous Pink Power Ranger costume for a week. If you have to suffer by doing something you really do not want to do, then I should do the same."

"You have a deal."

"This is going to end in tears," Pepper mumbled.

-o-

"Okay, we have the nachos, beer and soda as well as the dips," Pepper said placing a dish on the dining room table. "Though I am not sure if casinos sell nachos for poker games."

"Of course they do, right next to the peanuts, pretzels, and popcorn you would find at any sporting venue," Tony explained sarcastically.

"You know, I am not going to miss your sarcasm when lose."

"Who says I am losing?"

"Tony, are you only playing against Natasha to prove a point?"

"Depends on what point it is?"

"That she is not as smart as you."

"I never said she was not as smart as me. Just not as brilliant as I am."

"Wow, your ego is on a real field trip this week. Is this the only reason you suggested a boys verses girls poker game?"

"I am an egalitarian Pepper. I felt it was time women were included."

"If you were really an egalitarian Tony, you would have included us from the beginning."

"Okay fair point but I am including you now and that is all that matters," he smiled and placed his hands on her shoulders. Pepper did not look very impressed.

"I'm going to get everyone else. Just try not to eat all the nachos."

"Fine, I will sort out all the poker chips."

"No hiding any in your pockets."

-o-

About two hours or so into the game, Tony had won around seven hands while Natasha was slightly ahead with nine hands. Pepper and Thor were lagging behind with two hands each. Jane had gone home with baby Alex a while ago, not having any real interest in watching the game, playing the game, or being a cheerleader.

The poker chips were distributed over the dining table, the nachos had been consumed – mostly by Tony and Thor – and all eyes were focused on the cards in their hands.

"I will raise you fifty dollars," Natasha placed two green chips in the middle.

"I see your fifty and raise you seventy-five," Tony stated placing three green chips in the middle.

"I fold," Pepper announced placing her cards down: none of the cards were linked in anyway.

"What about you Hammer Time?"

"Fold."

"Okay, just us. Again," Tony said glumly.

"Well, you and I might just be very lucky."

"So, are you going to put more money in or not?" Natasha tossed in a black chip. "Someone is confidant."

"That is for me to know and to you to find out."

"Could you pick a less obvious cliché?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no."

"Okay," Tony tossed in two more black chips.

"How much is that now?" asked Pepper.

"Five-hundred and fifty dollars," Thor answered.

"Okay, show us what you got," Tony declared.

"You first."

"Are we really going to do this?"

"Well, I put my cards down first during the last game. Maybe someone else should put their cards down."

"Have you heard of 'ladies first'? I'm sure they had it during the Gorbachev era."

"Funny," Natasha said sarcastically.

"Getting pretty bored here," Pepper complained under her breath.

"Maybe the drinking the beer would provide some entertainment," Thor handed Pepper a beer.

"You might be right."

"Fine, I'll go," Tony put his cards down rather smugly: straight flush in spades. "I think I would make that nine to nine."

Natasha raised one eyebrow as if to say the hand was interesting. "It's a good had Stark. A very good hand. However, it is not good enough."

Natasha put down her cards: jack, queen, king, ten, and an ace in hearts, "I believe it is called a royal flush."

Everyone's face dropped in shock and now it was Natasha's turn to look smug.

"Make that ten to eight."

"How?" Tony blurted out completely baffled at his unexpected defeat.

"Never play poker with a trained assassin. We are very good at bluffing. Just ask his brother," Natasha explained pointing to Thor.

"I suppose this explains how you beat me at chess."

"Actually, that was because I am just awesome."

"And you say I have an ego," Tony told Pepper. Pepper raised her eyebrow, "That was an observation, not a joke."

"Speaking of which, you know have to give up making any sarcastic comment, or pay the five-hundred and fifty dollars."

Tony could have made it easy for himself. He did not need the five-hundred and fifty dollars. However, his pride was on the line and he felt like he needed to prove that he could not be beaten.

"Fine, you are on."

"Tony, just give it up. You are not going to be able to do it," Pepper said.

"Ye of very little faith Pepper."

"She has good reasons to believe you will fail."

"Hey Hamlet," Tony snapped sharply.

"This is going to be too much fun to watch," Natasha commented.

-o-

Three days had passed, and Tony had done his best to evade making any sarcastic though there had been plenty of temptation.

Firstly, Pepper had hired an intern named Hazel Nutts; second, he had to refrain from taking the mick out of some of the old home movies Pepper had found of when she and her brother were younger (it was mainly Pepper's hair as a teenager). Finally, having heard what Alex might have been called had he had been a girl: Ruth.

"How close is he to snapping?" Natasha asked Pepper over coffee.

"Well, when he heard the intern's name, he made a noise that I have never heard come out of his mouth. Also his hand to bite his lip really hard."

"I don't get the whole Ruth thing though."

"Neither do I. I think I said something about little baby Ruth then he had to restrain laughing."

"Wasn't there a baseball player called Babe Ruth?"

"Yes, but I don't think that was it. She would have been called Ruth Foster anyway so I might have to check is there is anything funny about it. Though knowing him I might have just been Babe Ruth."

Well, he is doing well considering it has been three days."

"I am surprised it has last that long to be honest. I thought it was going to be over the minute Hazel opened her mouth."

"I have a feeling that he will have broken by the end of the day."

"Something will happen to cause him to break."

"Oh good, great, I cannot do this anymore," Tony stated coming into the kitchen and handed Natasha a bunch of notes.

"What happen?" asked Pepper exasperated.

"You know that ditzy secretary that we brought with us from Malibu?"

"The one who changes her hair colour every other week? The one you hired because you were sleeping with her at the time?"

"No. That was the one with the nipple piercing. Anyway, we started a conversation, during which she told me she was planning on taking up flying lessons. As in flying an aircraft, possibly a commercial aircraft as well."

"So? What is wrong with her wanting to have a little ambition?" asked Natasha.

"This is the same woman who believed she was being possessed by a dead person, believed that she could read the mind of a banana and thinks Santa Claus killed her mother. If she did not have the mind of a sparrow, I would be fine with her flying a commercial airline."

"Why do we keep her working here?" asked Pepper.

"As dippy as she is, she can work herself around a computer."

"So what did you say after she told you she was planning on having flying lessons?" Natasha enquired.

"I said that it was appropriate as she can finally return to her home planet."

"Tony, that is really mean," Pepper chastised.

"To be fair, I think she is convinced that she is not from this planet."

"Is there another reason why you gave up?" Natasha asked. "Did you realise that all this is making you look ridiculous in the process?"

"Honestly, I knew that I was being rather childish in not admitting defeat over something trivial. I think my dignity is more important than my pride."

"Aw," Pepper gave Tony a kiss on the cheek. "My boy is finally growing up."

"Yeah, let's not get too sappy over it."

"Just one question," Natasha began, "why did you struggle with making a sarcastic comment over the name Ruth?"

"Honestly, considering the names of Norse gods, I was expecting something grander or Shakespearian like Ophelia, Desdemona, Hermia, or Goneril."

"Who the hell would name their child Goneril?" asked Pepper. "Actually, when did you read Shakespeare?"

"I had a girlfriend who was an actress and she wanted to do more Shakespearian plays to be taken seriously as an actress. They were all the roles she auditioned for."

"Yet you forget where we went for dinner last week."

"Baby steps Pepper."


	9. The One With Bruce's Surprise

Chapter Nine

"Maybe to the left," Wanda said directing Steve and Tony with a welcome home banner.

"Wanda, just pick where you want this banner to go. I don't think Bruce is going to care," Steve told her getting rather frustrated.

Okay, just leave it there. We have more stuff to do before he comes back."

"Like what?" asked Tony.

"The food, the balloons, cleaning the living room of all the toys."

"Well, Pepper is on the food. Putting all the toys away will take about ten minutes, and we will start on the balloons as soon as we have hung the banner," Steve explained. "Just relax. We are running on schedule."

"Why are you so stressed today?" asked Tony placing a pin into the banner.

"Lack of sleep might be why I am freaking out a little. We have another bout of teething."

"Really?" asked Steve looking confused.

"He woke me up around one this morning."

"Wanda, I would have heard it. Maybe you dreamt it."

"Are you suggesting that I dream about my son crying?"

"To be fair, you once dreamt I said a sexist comment to you and yelled at me for twenty minutes about it," Tony laughed.

"It was a very vivid dream and considering how you used to treat women, you can hardly blame me."

"You did not have to blast me with your hex bolt though."

"I did say sorry."

"Wanda, why don't you take a nap or have a bath just to relax yourself?" asked Steve.

"I'm afraid that something is going to go wrong if I leave the pair of you on your own."

"Just do it. It might do you some good."

"Okay. I will trust you guys to get it done. Just make sure the toys go back into the right room."

"Have some faith, we're not that incompetent," Tony said rather offended. Steve looked at him with one eyebrow. "Okay, I am not that incompetent."

"Have fun," Wanda sang before walking out.

"Was James actually crying and or is your wife going crazy?" asked Tony once he was sure Wanda was out of earshot.

"I honestly do not know. I think it is highly likely that he was actually crying."

"Then why did you not remember that you kid was crying?"

"If I remembered every instance my kids cried I think I would forget how to drive."

"Usually people don't forget the crying from the night before."

"My point still stands," Steve stated climbing down the stepladder. He turned around and saw the amount of toys that the kids had left around: three of Evelyn's dolls, the wooden makeup set, the Noah's Ark, James's chalkboard blocks, pack-and-play mattress, fire engine, and Fisher Price® Puppy Piano. "Ten minutes. Yeah right."

"With two people it should be no problem. You should have made a giant box to put all this in."

"Then it gets mixed up and we cannot tell whose is whose."

"Well I assume your son will not need the wooden makeup."

"I know that but keeping everything together is not easy with kids under five."

"Well, it should not be too difficult. I don't think the kids would care if the stuff is together."

"That was before Evelyn became the most highly strung toddler on the planet."

"Define highly strung."

"Okay, she has these four plastic cups that are red, blue, yellow and green. I have to have the green cup. Wanda has to have the yellow cup. If Luna is here, she has to have the blue cup, and Evelyn has to have the red. There is no negotiation on this," Steve explained folding the pack-and-play up.

"You might want to deal with that or she is going to spend most of her school life stressing over getting into college," Tony said grabbing the wooden makeup pieces.

"She's three. I don't even know what elementary school she is going to."

"I assume boarding school is off the list."

"Of course is it. For the both of them."

-o-

Toys put away, balloons blew up, food laid out, and kids put to bed, the party could now begin. The only thing missing was Bruce, who should have been there by eight but it was nearing twenty past eight.

"Maybe he got arrested for carrying drugs," Tony suggested. Everyone gave him a look as if to ask what he was going on about.

"I don't think Bruce would carry drugs through customs Tony," said Pepper.

"Maybe not willingly. You do here stories about people being drug mules unknowingly."

"Or, he could be waiting for his bags to turn up because JFK is hell to get through."

"I should have gone to pick him up," said Steve taking a swig of his beer.

"Why did he not want anyone to get him?" asked Jane.

"He said he had a surprise whatever that means," Wanda explained.

"African bride," Tony nodded, as if he was certain he was correct. At that point, the doorbell rang.

"Door is open!" Wanda called. Everyone got into position and Bruce came into the living room.

"Surp - What?" Everyone exclaimed when they saw what Bruce had in his hand: a infant's car seat.

"Yeah, surprise," Bruce laughed at their reactions.

"That isn't an African bride," Tony blurted out.

"Yeah, sorry to disappoint." Bruce put down the car seat, revealing a sleeping nine-month-old infant. "And before anyone asks, I adopted her. I was not sleeping with any of the women I was helping."

"I'm … I'm confused," Pepper stammered.

"Long story short, her mother died of malaria, her father died in an accident before she was born, and the orphanage were overrun. Some of the kids were taken in by relatives but there was one adult to every twenty-five kids, some with more needs than others."

"Poor thing," Wanda said leaning down to have a closer look. "Does she have a name?"

"Marie. It was the name she was born with."

"A pretty name for a pretty young maiden," Thor stated.

"She is pretty cute," Steve said. "Though are you sure you can do this?"

"Don't worry about it. The Other Guy will deal with any potential boyfriends that Marie may have," Tony said casually.

"I was actually asking if he can do it on his own."

"I have a bad feeling you are going into 1940s mode," Pepper mumbled.

"To be fair Pepper, it isn't everyday you see a single father raising a child," Bruce shrugged. "Eight times out of ten it is usually just the mother or both parents."

"And before you comment about doing the bulk of the childcare in the day, you are not single," Wanda told Steve.

"I was wondering what this ring on my finger meant," Steve said sarcastically.

"Nice to see some things have not changed," Bruce said.

"If you need anything, we can help," Wanda said.

"I am sure Tony will be willing to help me babysit," said Pepper.

"Wait what."

"You heard."

"Whipped," Steve whispered.

"At least my kid isn't going to be an emotional wreck over plastic cups."


	10. The One Where The Boys Stakeout

Chapter Ten

"I don't know what was going through your sister's head when she suggested you and I bond in a car at night while spying on a suspect."

"Well Rogers, you know Wanda. She wants everyone to get along."

"I thought we did get along."

"I do it because I want to keep Wanda happy. Still not with the idea that you are sleeping with my sister."

"Can I just ask if it would have been a bigger problem if it had been Stark?"

"I don't know, maybe. She is still my sister regardless if she married you and had your kids."

"She is her own woman that can make her own decisions."

"You never had to be the one who had to look after her."

"You have someone else to look after now, someone who needs you more than Wanda does. God forbid if Evelyn gets married, I will feel the same way you do now. She is my little girl and I love her."

"Your point?"

"I get what you are saying, mainly because I have a little girl to look after but you also have your own."

"Okay you have a fair point. She is not a little girl anymore."

"Trust me, she is no little girl." Steve turned his head and saw Pietro glaring at him. "Okay that was too much information."

-o-

"It has been hours. I am bored. Do you know what it is like having super speed? Everything else is just so slow."

"Is that why your frustration levels go from nought to two hundred so quickly? Your complete inability to hang on for two seconds?"

"Two seconds to you is like thirty seconds to me."

"Well from my perspective, everything moved too quickly. It took almost seventy years for not only S.H.I.E.L.D. to be established but for televisions to be in every house, cars to be on every street corner. Needless to say when I got over the fact that most of the people I knew were either dead or nearing death, the culture shock set in."

"Yeah, that took about five minutes for you to explain to me."

-o-

_"__Steve, it is two in the morning. Why are you calling me?"_

"I think your plan to make your brother and I to bond has pretty much fell through."

_"__Why?"_

"He's fallen asleep."

_"__Funny, I was asleep about two minutes ago."_

"I am just a little bored."

_"__If you are bored, find a way to entertain yourself."_

"Like what? Wanda? Have you hung up on me?"

-o-

"Did you draw on my face?"

"Rogers, you should not have fallen asleep on the job."

"Well, it is nice to see where your niece gets it from."

"Call it revenge for her dressing me up in a princess costume."

"Considering that it was your daughter's idea, I think you are taking revenge on the wrong person."

-o-

"From the sounds of it, the guy is clearly guilty."

"I have always been one to believe that someone is innocent until proven guilty."

"The guy was captured on camera planting a bag filled with explosives near the US embassy in Paris. All these files are telling us is that he has accessed the country via a fake passport and he is carrying a file stick that contains information that could corrupt the networks used by S.H.I.E.L.D, the CIA, the FBI, and Congress."

"But is he the mastermind behind this plot or is he just the foot soldier?"

"Okay, that is a good point; however it doesn't mean he isn't guilty."

"Until we bring him in we do not know the full story."

"You don't think it is HYDRA do you?"

"The thing with HYDRA is that once you take out the leader, it will spring up somewhere else. Sometimes it is smaller; sometimes it is to the extent where it has infiltrated the government. They seem to be much smarter than using fake passports to enter the country."

"Speaking as a former foot soldier of HYDRA, I think this does have them written all over it."

"If it is then I am going to tell them how boring it is getting defeating them. There is a line and they crossed it when they decided to use Evelyn as bait."

"Well, I decided the line had been crossed when they beat Wanda to the point where she was just about breathing."

"I cannot imagine what you had to see after they had finished. I don't even want to think about it."

"Even thinking about it makes me sick. Even after we got out, she could not even move very far. A part of me knew I should have taken her to hospital but then I would have had to explain how she had gotten into that mess. I did take her to one in some country where they would not have gotten the police involved. Can't even remember getting to the States."

"Okay, I get it now."

"Did Wanda never tell you?"

"Well, I obviously knew about the scars and how they came about. She just never said how it had affected you."

"Probably did not think it was relevant."

"Or she did not want to keep bringing it up. She was the one that had to physically endure it."

"I'm sorry that I punched you when we first met. I just thought you were taking advantage of her."

"I could not do that to her or any woman. I honestly made sure she was okay with everything."

"I know that now. She isn't a little girl or a possession. It isn't like I am passing a trophy onto you to look after. She seems well looked after though. She is so much happier with you and the kids."

"So does it mean I have your approval?"

"I would not have been at the wedding if I did not approve."

"Wanda would be proud of us finally bonding."

"It doesn't mean we have to go on vacation together."

"Yeah about that…"


	11. The One On the Ship

Chapter Eleven

"Pepper, why could you not have organised a vacation in a hotel, not on a ship?" Wanda groaned as she lay on the sun lounger.

"Well, I thought it would be an experience. Plus we don't have to visit anywhere."

"Sorry, I just have not been feeling well recently and I think the rocking is making it worse."

"All the reason to rest. I never knew you suffered from seasickness."

"I have never been on a ship before. I doubt I knew myself. Anyway, what are you doing?"

"Trying to sort out the wedding photos on my laptop. I have been meaning to do it for ages."

"Mine or yours?"

"Mine. The photographer sent them to me about a month after the wedding however I have not had much opportunity to organise them."

"Funny, I was wondering why you did not have a picture of your wedding day on your desk."

"Fancy having a look?"

"Sure." Wanda went over and looked at the photos.

"For someone who was six months pregnant, I don't look too awful. Maybe because I hid it with the flowers."

"You have to admit I made a good choice with the colour of the bridesmaid's dress."

"I don't know. Thinking back I think I preferred the mint on my skin tone."

"Nah, the coral looked better. The mint would have washed the entire colour out of your skin. Though I did like that mint bikini you flat-out rejected."

"I told you. I just don't feel comfortable in a bikini. I have scars on my back and stretch marks on my stomach."

"Speaking of stretch marks, where are the kids?"

"Um, Natasha, Bruce and Thor took them to the pool."

"Oh well, there seems to be a party going on later. No kids though so someone needs to look after them."

"We'll draw straws later."

"Draw straws on what?" asked Steve.

"Who is babysitting the kids tonight. I mean all the kids not just ours."

"Ah. So, I was thinking as the kids do not need to have a nap for about two hours, do you want to have a private chat?"

"Guys, you don't have to be coy with me; I have heard more than I need to hear from you two," Pepper commented not taking her eyes off the laptop screen.

Steve's ears went red, "I did not mean that!"

"Come on, I have a feeling I know what you want to talk about," Wanda said standing up. Pepper looked at them suspiciously. Wanda looked at Steve, and through some strange silent conversation, Steve nodded his head.

Wanda went over to Pepper and whispered something in her ear, "AGAIN?"

"Not so loud," Wanda placed her hands over Pepper's mouth. "Yes. We were just going to talk about that."

"Okay just go."

"Promise not to say anything?"

"I promise. Just go." The couple walked away and Pepper sighed. While shocked, she did not seem too fazed by what Wanda had told her. She had her own news herself for Tony but was not planning on revealing it until she was not so freaked out herself.

"Hey where did Burton and Taylor go?" asked Tony.

"They went to have a private conversation."

"Well, I hope they use protection. We don't need anymore superkids about."

"You really think that?"

"I think five is enough to build another mini-Avengers team."

"You might want to think about asking the parents before you set up the Anthony Stark Institute for Mini-Avengers."

"Well, I was thinking that you could do it." Pepper glared over to Tony. "Okay, I was kidding."

"You cannot exactly force someone to become infertile Tony so I doubt your wish for fewer babies. Besides, Wanda and Steve are actually having a private chat. Not having sex."

"How do you know? Have you equipped their room with audio tapping?"

"No. I would tell you but it is a private thing."

"Then why did she tell you?"

"Tony, if you are trying to get something out of me, you are failing hard."

"Please just say. I promise I will not tell anyone." Pepper raised her eyebrow. "Okay, point taken."

-o-

"Steve, I am not too sure I can cope with the idea of this. We have two children to care for without having something else to look after."

"Well, you know I will be home most of the time. Evelyn is going to school soon and James will be at preschool during the morning."

"I know but this is something else we need to commit to."

"Well, I don't think that this is something we cannot deal with," he said putting his hands on her waist. "We've dealt with it before."

"We did say once Evelyn was in school we would do this."

"I never made any guarantees about that Steve. It was an if-it-happened-it-happened type of thing."

"Well it happened."

"In other words deal with it."

"You told Pepper; I gather you would have told her unless you were not going to do this."

"I never said I was not going to go through with this again. I think I am still surprised.

"Like I am not surprised Wanda. I mean we had been … you know … safe."

"I knew that there was something wrong with the way you put that condom on when we were in the back of the car."

"Well, there isn't much of a need for condoms now so…"

"God you are a bad influence." Wanda leaned up to kiss him and the two fell back onto the bed giggling.

-o-

"Okay, whoever draws the short straw is on child duty," Natasha said holding around nine straws between the group.

"Isn't there a crèche?" asked Pietro.

"It's not open after six," answered Wanda.

"Fine, let's do it."

"Shall we do it one at a time?" asked Steve. Everyone responded with a yes and one by one they took a straw. Tony, Pepper, Wanda, Natasha, Pietro, Thor, Bruce, and Jane all drew long straws.

"Ah, looks like I am on kid duty," Steve commented holding up the short straw.

"Fair is fair Steve."

"I never said I minded."

"Five kids. Have fun," Tony commented under his breath.

"I will try to have fun. I have been looking after kids for four years. I would like to see you try bringing your own child up."

-o-

"Pepper seems to be acting strangely," Pietro observed while talking to Wanda at the bar.

"Define strange."

"I don't know, something seems different about her."

"Actually she has been acting a little strange around Tony recently."

"Do you think she might be hiding something?"

"Ours is not to question why."

"You don't think it is an affair do you?"

"Of course not. Pepper would not do that. Besides, I do need to tell you something."

"Please don't be pregnant again." Wanda bit her lip unsure how to respond. "For goodness sakes Wanda."

"It was not as though I planned it myself. I have two kids already but I don't think a third would hurt."

"Wanda you have only just turned thirty and you are going to have three kids."

"Your point?"

"You're right; I have no point. I just did not think you would want another baby to look after."

"Steve and I talked about it and we thought considering Evelyn will be going into school soon and James will be going to preschool by the time the baby will be born, it's not going to be difficult. Besides, Steve does the bulk of the childcare as I am the one with a regular pay."

"Even though S.H.I.E.L.D pays more?"

"That is not the point. S.H.I.E.L.D missions are not as regular as my job so someone has to look after the kids and someone has to be the breadwinner."

"Point. Okay, if this is what makes you happy Wanda, then I am going to be happy for you."

"My god, are you actually showing some signs of maturity?"

"Don't get used to it."

"I might just go and check if Steve is coping. Also I am really tired."

"It's seven."

"Pregnancy will do that especially when you have two kids."

Across the room, Natasha had noticed that Pepper was being rather distant from the party and especially Tony. Despite respecting people's privacy unless they sought her advice, Natasha decided to ask Pepper to spit it out.

"Nat, there is nothing wrong with me."

"Funny, you just seem to be going out of your way to avoid your husband for some reason. You've been doing it for about three days. Have you two had a fight?"

"No we haven't."

"Are you having an affair?" Pepper raised one eyebrow as if to ask, 'seriously?' "Then why are you not interacting with everyone at the party. That is mainly your job."

"Can we just go out to the deck in private?"

"Fine." Once outside, Pepper handed her glass of what looked to be orange juice to Natasha. "Why are you handing me your drink?"

"Just taste it."

Natasha took a generous sip of the liquid and squinted I confusion, "It's just orange juice. I cannot taste anything else. Don't you usually have champagne at parties like this?"

"Natasha, what would be the three main reasons to give up alcohol?"

"Well, one is if you are an alcoholic, which you are not; two would be to lose weight, which you don't need to; and three would be if you are preg…" Natasha stopped her sentence when it finally dawned on her. "Oh."

"Yes. I thought I was going through menopause so I went to the doctor to see if he had anything to ease the symptoms. One blood test later and now…"

"Have you even told-"

"I have been trying to figure out how to tell him but I am really worried about how he will react."

"I see your point. The prospect of being a father at his age will not help the state of his heart."

"Well, now I am worried about him having a heart attack. I meant what if he does not want it. He is not exactly father-material."

"Maybe he will have learnt from his father's mistakes and his own mistakes. It's not as though he is short of help from Rogers, Thor, Banner, and even Pietro."

"He could still not want it. Who wants to be at their kid's high school graduation in their seventies?"

"Well, think about the discounts you will get at the cinema." Pepper couldn't help but laugh at that statement. "Pepper, if you don't tell him now then he is going to get a shock in a couple of months."

"I know."

Before Natasha could say anything, her phone rang, "Sorry."

"No it is fine. It might be important."

Natasha pressed the phone to her ear, listening to the instructions being given to her over the phone, "Okay, I understand but I am on vacation so unless you want to send a S.H.I.E.L.D helicopter to the middle of the Caribbean Sea then you will have to make do with someone else."

_"__All we have is the rookies and we do not want to send anyone lower than level eight."_

"Fine, just send a boat out. I don't want to look so suspicious. You can find my location on my phone and brief me on the boat." Natasha hung her phone up. "I'm sorry Pepper. S.H.I.E.L.D require my assistance because anyone lower than level eight is seen as incompetent."

"It's fine Natasha. Just make sure you come back safe."

"And you make sure that you tell Stark about the baby."

"I promise I will tell him."

"I do not mean when you get off the ship, I mean tonight."

"Okay I will."

"Good. I will be waiting here for the S.H.I.E.L.D boat. You go back inside and have fun."

Natasha nodded and walked back into the party, quickly finding Tony.

"Hey where have you been?" he asked.

"Just outside. I... Uh."

"You what?"

"I just needed some air. Natasha got called on a mission."

"Is that it?"

"Yes Tony. That is the only thing."

**I know Natasha is about level 7 but this is in the future so it is more than likely she would have gotten a higher clearance level. **


	12. The One Where Pepper is Pregnant (1)

Chapter Twelve

Pepper was around three months pregnant and Tony was completely oblivious of this fact. Pepper was clearly showing and she had done everything in her power to try and hide the bump. At least Tony was not as observant as he thought he was so he had not noticed anything different about his wife.

"So what restaurant are we going tonight?" asked Pepper putting on her lipstick.

"_Capriccio's_. It's that Italian place about four blocks away so we will be walking there."

"In other words don't wear my highest stilettos."

"Don't you usually wear much more fitted dresses than that?" Tony asked commenting upon the looser summer dress she was wearing.

"I just fancied some room to breathe and by wearing this I can eat as much as I want."

"Fair enough. Let's go." The walk down to the restaurant was quiet to say the least and when they got to the restaurant, they were greeted by Natasha, Steve and a four-month pregnant Wanda.

"You seem to be going for a different look Pepper," Steve commented.

"It's so she can stuff her face," Tony responded sitting down. Natasha glanced at Pepper as though she knew that Tony was still in the dark. "When are Banner, Point Break and Mrs Point Break coming?"

"They said they would be here in five minutes," answered Wanda.

"Well, we can look at what we want to order," Natasha said keeping one eye on Pepper.

"Um… Sounds good," Pepper grimaced uneasily at Natasha. Before long, Bruce, Thor and Jane came and everyone ordered what food they wanted. In order to divert her attention away from Natasha looking as though she was going to kill her, Pepper decided to bombard Wanda with questions about her pregnancy. "So are you going to find out the sex this time?"

"Considering that we have a three-bedroom house, we decided that we were going to find out in a few weeks," she answered.

"I think after having two kids of both sex, we're not too bothered by the sex," Steve added.

"You are a braver woman than I. One was enough," Jane said sipping her wine.

"What was the last labour? Twenty-five hours?" asked Bruce.

"Twenty-eight," Wanda groaned at the memory. "I almost forgot about that birth experience."

"Well, at least you two are making the decisions together," Natasha murmured into her wine. Pepper caught onto what she said.

"I just need to go to the bathroom," Pepper said getting up and walking to the woman's toilet.

After a few moments, Natasha got up, "I'll just be a few moments." Once inside the toilet, Natasha folded her arms as she waited for Pepper to finish her business.

"Christ Natasha, you need to stop creeping up on people like that," Pepper exclaimed when she opened the cubicle.

"You have not told him have you?"

"No," Pepper answered going to wash her hands.

"It's been six weeks, how can you have not told him?"

"It is not as though I have not tried to tell him. Something keeps coming up or I just freak out at the last second."

"You need to tell him tonight. Right, now Stark is sitting out there, eating breadsticks with no knowledge that you are having his child."

"What?" a voice asked from the door. The colour from Pepper's face drained when she saw Jane standing at the door.

"Oh shit," Natasha stated in Russian.

Meanwhile at the table, Thor was explaining an adventure he had with Lady Sif and the Warriors Three using the condiments on the table.

"Wait, which one is supposed to be you?" asked Bruce

"I think it's the salt shaker," answered Steve.

"I thought it was the ketchup," Tony responded.

"Do we really have to go through this again," Wanda rubbed her eye in frustration, causing her eye shadow, eyeliner and mascara to form black under her eyes.

"I am the salt dispenser, Lady Sif is the ketchup and Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg are the three spoons. As I was explaining, we approached the…" Thor explained again before continuing with his story.

"Honey, your makeup has gone a little…" Steve whispered to Wanda.

"How bad?"

"You look like you have been punched in the face," Tony whispered.

"It is hard to believe in the last ten years you have not learned how to be tact," Wanda grumbled getting out of her seat. "Sorry Thor, I just need to go the bathroom but do continue."

"Actually, how long has Pepper, Natasha and Jane been in there?" asked Bruce checking his watch.

"Darcy said that women like to go to the bathroom in groups. She explained it as 'all girls together'," Thor stated.

"Well, I will see what is keeping them," Wanda said walking to the bathroom. "Girls, what is taking you so long?"

Wanda just about heard Natasha say something in Russian before opening the door to a very freaked out Pepper, a shocked Jane and a exasperated Natasha.

"What is going on?" Wanda asked suspiciously. Jane bit her lip nervously turning to the other women; Natasha gave Pepper a look as if to say that she was not telling Wanda.

Pepper sighed, "I am… I am three months pregnant."

"And Stark doesn't know," Natasha added.

"O Doamme!"

"Okay, I think we might have had enough of the foreign exclamations," Pepper said holding her hands up.

"How long have you known you were pregnant?" asked Jane.

"About six weeks."

"Six!" Wanda shouted a little too loudly. "You have known for six weeks and you have not told Tony."

"Okay, how long did you wait to tell Steve you were pregnant with Evelyn?"

"A few days and that was because he was dragged on a mission the day I found out. Apples and oranges."

"Oh God, I am a terrible person."

"How has he not figured it out for himself yet is what I am wondering," Jane commented. "Are you two not sleeping in the same bed or something?"

"Tony has been going through his tinkering phase again so he usually sleeps during the day."

"Still does not excuse-"

"Okay, I got your point Natasha!"

"Okay, here is the plan. Jane, Natasha, and I will go back out to the restaurant and I will say to Tony that you want to speak to him in the bathroom. You will tell him."

"Or I swear I will drop kick you," Natasha stated firmly.

Before Wanda, Natasha and Jane could leave the toilets, Bruce appeared in the door.

"The food it at the table."

"I'm pregnant," Pepper blurted out. "Oh merde."

Outside, Steve was tapping his fingers waiting for everyone to return so he could begin eating his carbonara. Pepper and Natasha had been in the bathroom for about fifteen minutes, Jane for thirteen, Wanda for ten, and Bruce for about five. Bruce had said he was only going to get the women from the bathroom.

"Maybe one of us should see what is going on," Steve suggested.

"I'm beginning to think there is some sort of secret underground lair where some creepy mafia boss may be holding them all hostage," Tony rambled without realising that he was talking to himself.

"I would suggest going to get them, however whenever someone goes to the bathroom they keep disappearing," Steve commented.

"News just in, Captain America to be renamed Captain Obvious."

"I will see what I going on," Thor said getting out of his seat. Once he got to the bathroom door all he could hear was shouting. After trying to speak over the shouting, he finally boomed, "ENOUGH!" The room went silent. "Okay, what is going on?"

"I think at this point, we may as well inform the CIA," Wanda murmured.

Pepper at that point was so exasperated that she just looked to Jane to tell Thor.

"Pepper is pregnant, Tony doesn't know and Natasha is close to killing someone."

"You have to tell him," Bruce said.

"You think I have not been told that enough," Pepper growled.

"There is not any point in fighting again. The point is that the person who should know about this does not and he is sitting out there waiting to eat his cacciatore," Thor explained.

"So what do we do?" asked Jane.

"I think there is only one option," Natasha answered.

Having waited so long, Tony had decided to give into his stomach and begin eating his food. Steve thought the same and had begun eating his pasta.

"Surprisingly lukewarm rabbit is not bad," Tony commented.

"I don't know. I always think I would be eating Thumper from Bambi."

"I fell asleep watching Bambi and that was before the mother was shot." Just then, everyone else had gathered in front of the pair, Pepper front and centre. "Wow, I did not realise it was my birthday. I should have brought a cake."

"Tony, I have to tell you something. I'm really, really sorry for not telling you sooner…" Pepper began.

"Wait you don't have cancer do you."

"I'm pregnant."

It did not take long for shock to become clear on Tony's face. For the first time since he encountered a talking racoon, he was speechless.

"Someone better get 911 at the ready," Natasha whispered.

"Tony, are you okay?" asked Pepper getting worried.

"How," Tony coughed, "How far along are you?"

"Nearly twelve weeks."

"What do you mean when you said you were sorry you should have told me sooner?"

"I've known about it for about six weeks."

"SI-"

"Tony, don't shout."

"You have known for six weeks? I suppose everyone else knew."

"Actually most of us found out tonight," Bruce insisted.

"Most?"

"I might have known about it," Natasha answered.

"What the hell Pepper? Like really what the hell?" Pepper just looked down at her feet.

"Okay, this is not a conversation for an audience," Steve said stepping in. "Let's just go back to the Tower and you two can talk about this and – Stark what are you doing?"

"I need some space to think."

"Tony-"

"Pep, it might be a good idea to let him cool off before you two speak," Wanda suggested.

"He took quite a lot of news at once," Jane added.

"I thought he took it well," Thor commented.

"As well as he could considering that you lied to him for nearly two months," Steve mumbled.

"It was not lying Steve. It's avoiding the truth. There is a difference," Pepper said sitting down. There was a subtle growling from nearly everyone but Steve's stomach. "In the meantime, we can eat."

"Suits me," Wanda said digging into her risotto. "What I'm pregnant, I am allowed."

"Maybe we should go after him," Thor said out of concern.

"I would not bother. The amount of time I have had to deal with these two after a fight shows that it is best to leave him to let out some steam before he can speak like an adult again."

"To be honest, I did screw him over by letting my fears get in the way," Pepper said sipping the wine glass next to her.

"Pepper, that isn't your wine," Jane commented.

"Crap. I should not have done that."

"Pepper, one sip will not kill the baby," Bruce rolled his eyes. "Just don't make it a regular thing."

-o-

Later, an agreement was made between the group that Tony and Pepper needed some time alone to talk without them. They had gone home while Pepper was alone and watching another repeat of Friends. It was times like these when she wished she could have a drink; it made her less nervous.

"JARVIS, has Tony come home yet?"

"I am afraid he has not come into the premises yet Ms Potts."

"Oh, thanks anyway."

"Actually, Mr Stark has just walked into the building. He is now in the elevator on his way to the lounge."

"Okay, let's face the music," she whispered.

"Okay, before you say anything, you have been putting up with my crap for years," Tony said coming into the room.

"Right."

"My drinking, my womanising, my snoring, and my constant need to tinker with my suits."

"The fact that you keep putting yourself in danger such as going on a Formula One race track."

"To be fair, I did not know there would be a Russian dude with whips who my dad had pissed off years ago on the tracks. And I was dying anyway."

"I could have killed you after you told me three weeks too late. At least I know how you felt tonight."

"I did not want to kill you. I think I was just… Well shocked at the fact we could have kids at our age and then hurt that everyone found out before I did."

"I did not mean for it to happen. At the start of the night, only Natasha knew. Then it jus spiralled out of control."

"What hurt me more was the fact you kept it from me for so long."

"I'm really, really sorry Tony." Pepper began to tear up and Tony wiped the tears away with his thumbs.

"It does not matter. I know now. So how are you feeling?"

"Like absolute shit. I'm just hormonal and have been sick every morning. Like really sick. I can barely keep anything down."

"Standard. Are you sure you are only twelve weeks because you seem to be a little bigger than what I thought twelve weeks was supposed to be?"

"I'm sure. I was always on the dot."

"Okay, well tomorrow we go to the doctor, make sure that the pair of you are okay."

"Deal. Though you will have to hold my hair while throw up in the morning."

"Oh dear god I am going to be a father."

"I suppose there will be a Parenting for Dummies book somewhere."

**To be continued... (I think if I wrote this whole pregnancy out it would take up about 12,000 words).**


End file.
